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Whaddup guys and ghouls (get it? Instead of girls I said ghouls cause Innistrad is spooky), how are you doing on this fine <dan remember to insert whatever day we post this here>? Today we're going to look at one of my least favorite colors!
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| Trees are stupid. |
10 – These cards are so good that they'll literally make your dick bigger if you play them. Or boobs. Can't promise which one will happen though. But for real, these are the best cards in the set, and you should put them in your deck. A recent example is something like Kalitas or Gideon.
8-9 – These cards should be early picks, and you won't even hate yourself for playing them. The only reason you wouldn't want them is if they aren't in your colors at all, can't be splashed, or you're not a fan of winning. Mantis Rider is a good example.
5-7 – The bulk of your deck is this stuff. It's ok, but you wish it was an 8 or 9, just like your significant other did with you during highschool. Stalking Drone, and Kor Shadowglider fit in this section.
2-4 – Either you get super desperate and play these, or they're in your sideboard. Some cards that are bad 90% of the time but good in a very specific strategy would fit here. Loam Larva, Ancient Carbs, and Walker of the Wastes would fit this spot.
1 – These are the cards that get passed to you as the last card in a pack, and are usually only good for kindling. Fugitive Wizard, and my personal least favorite, Harvester Troll, belong in this bracket.
Like the previous review, we'll only put out 2HG ratings if the card performs different in 2HG than in regular sealed. Also last time I did our review in reverse-alphabet order. I started off like that again, and was gonna make it our "thing," but then I fucked up somehow.
Let's get natural with these greenies:
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| SOI is giving me some weirding wood. |
Dan:
Limited: 6
Fixing plus ramp? Neato. Plus tasty clues? Sign me up, man. This is a pretty good play, and most green decks would be fine running one of these, especially if you have some fatfats you need to get on board.
Gaige:
Limited: 6
Like the name says, this card is weird(ing). It will help you with color fixing in any green/second color deck and if you have nothing else to play turn 3, it's almost like playing a land that will let you investigate. Turn 4 you either are even for mana if you miss a drop, or are ahead by 1. If you do miss the land drop and are stuck you can use your detective skills and draw a card (because clues). There are definitely better cards but if you don't have a lot of color fixing (which I never will) it can help to give you that extra mana and extra color.
Like the name says, this card is weird(ing). It will help you with color fixing in any green/second color deck and if you have nothing else to play turn 3, it's almost like playing a land that will let you investigate. Turn 4 you either are even for mana if you miss a drop, or are ahead by 1. If you do miss the land drop and are stuck you can use your detective skills and draw a card (because clues). There are definitely better cards but if you don't have a lot of color fixing (which I never will) it can help to give you that extra mana and extra color.
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| I'm fine with spiders as long as they're smaller than my car. |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
I'm a little bit ashamed at how long it took me to figure out why it was an additional seven creatures vs. any other number. Thirteen is the number theme of Innistrad, so why seven? for those of you dumb like me it's because a spider has eight eyes and eight legs, so it can block a creature with one eye and one leg each. It would be neat for you to buff this guy while you block to kill a lot of things or bounce him to your hand to block and let him live. He will keep you alive against an onslaught of angles for a turn so you can swing in when they're tapped out.
Two-Headed Giant: 9
Anything that deals with flying is a must. Since he will be able to block both opponents creatures it will once again allow you to block everything and let your other head swing in while your opponents are tapped out.
I'm a little bit ashamed at how long it took me to figure out why it was an additional seven creatures vs. any other number. Thirteen is the number theme of Innistrad, so why seven? for those of you dumb like me it's because a spider has eight eyes and eight legs, so it can block a creature with one eye and one leg each. It would be neat for you to buff this guy while you block to kill a lot of things or bounce him to your hand to block and let him live. He will keep you alive against an onslaught of angles for a turn so you can swing in when they're tapped out.
Two-Headed Giant: 9
Anything that deals with flying is a must. Since he will be able to block both opponents creatures it will once again allow you to block everything and let your other head swing in while your opponents are tapped out.
Dan:
Limited: 6
Let me preface this by saying I am very biased, and I love fat butts and reach. With that out of the way, I think that this is actually a very good card. This murders spirit tokens, and totally ruins a go-wide in the air token strat. It DOES cost 5, which is a ton, but I'd definitely be fine with running one of these.
Two-Headed Giant: 7
We have died to fliers WAY too often in 2HG, as you can tell by Gaige's optimistic assessment. So if you run into us at the pre-release, you can be sure this will be in one of our decks.
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| Bro you are facing in the exact wrong direction. |
Dan:
Limited: 5
This is a pretty solid combat trick, and will let you trade up for a bigger dude. Hopefully one with wings. Tricks are always risky though, since a removal spell in response will ruin your day.
Gaige:
Limited: 4
Things that deal with flying are good, but combat tricks that deal with flying are less good. It will be a fun combat trick to have your tapped deathtouch rats kill Avacyn or some other spooky t-air-ableness.
Two-Headed Giant: 6
Run this alongside your many-blocker spider for maximum weird tricks. Once your teammate swings in and has all their creatures tapped out, you can untap once and give it reach to kill their precious flier that they thought was safe.
Things that deal with flying are good, but combat tricks that deal with flying are less good. It will be a fun combat trick to have your tapped deathtouch rats kill Avacyn or some other spooky t-air-ableness.
Two-Headed Giant: 6
Run this alongside your many-blocker spider for maximum weird tricks. Once your teammate swings in and has all their creatures tapped out, you can untap once and give it reach to kill their precious flier that they thought was safe.
Gaige:
Limited: 5
If you are running green and need filler I would run this. Even if you don't use or can't use the activated ability, you should be able to fill your graveyard enough to get delirium online and when you do you get a 4/4 trample hexproof who will kick you in the mouth if you try to make him firewood.
If you are running green and need filler I would run this. Even if you don't use or can't use the activated ability, you should be able to fill your graveyard enough to get delirium online and when you do you get a 4/4 trample hexproof who will kick you in the mouth if you try to make him firewood.
Dan:
Limited: 6
Tromple hexproof is no joke, and he's got good stats to boot. He'll stay on board and generally be super annoying. He's bad if you draw this late and don't already have delirium online, cause then it's way slow, but hey, at least he can try to activate delirium himself.
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| Each of her shoulderpads are easily double the size of her head. |
Dan:
Limited: 7
If she also made a clue from hitting players, she'd be an insane engine, but as is you kinda gotta get a lucky setup for her to poop some clues. Her other ability is great though, and doing that even once makes this broad shouldered beauty totally worth it. Also, I'm going to call her Velma. More on that when we look at the next card.
Gaige:
Limited: 6
This card has potential, but you need some true clue syngergoo. If you managed to pull Tamiyo's journal you can sac three clues to grab a card from deck and then at end step put it on the battlefield. As long as you have 6 mana to clue trigger or some other means to sac clues, this card can be fun. Especially since if you do it correctly, it will allow you to play creatures on your opponent's turn.
This card has potential, but you need some true clue syngergoo. If you managed to pull Tamiyo's journal you can sac three clues to grab a card from deck and then at end step put it on the battlefield. As long as you have 6 mana to clue trigger or some other means to sac clues, this card can be fun. Especially since if you do it correctly, it will allow you to play creatures on your opponent's turn.
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| A good courier wouldn't die and leave clues laying around. |
Gaige:
Limited: 5
I will definitely end up playing green and I will be playing this. Not quite a 3/3, but gives you something to hit with if you have an opportunity to hit, and if not, chump for more information.
I will definitely end up playing green and I will be playing this. Not quite a 3/3, but gives you something to hit with if you have an opportunity to hit, and if not, chump for more information.
Dan:
Limited: 5
This guy, henceforth known as Fred, is boring filler. A 3/2 for three is acceptable with an upside, which Fred has. There's definitely a blue/green Mystery Machine deck that makes a ton of clues, and that is his home.
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| Preferred mode of transport for Simic players. |
Gaiges additional note: That art is definitely of a woman. I'm not opposed to calling her Fred though.
Dan's additional additional note: Fred is fairly effeminate, so I'm keeping it.
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| Stupid angle, why'd you land? You can just fly. |
Dan:
Limited: 3
This is sideboard stuff. I don't think it's particularly good sideboard, because if they just sac a 1/1 spirit and keep their Avacyn, this card kind of sucks.
Two-Headed Giant: 5
In 2HG, even if both heads just sac a spirit, you can still high-five your bro for a decent play. If this makes them both sacrifice a full card, you can go beyond high-five to bro-hug, or maybe even a tender kiss right on the lips. I mean... high-five. Yeah.
Gaige:
Limited: 4
There are a lot of things in the skies of Innistrad. Fortunately you have enough ropes for each opponent to lose one of their precious fliers. Now do stuff to hurt them like attacking or I guess make clue tokens. Maybe you can delirium if you want?
With umpires and angles just fucking shit up in the sky, sometimes you have to bring them down to your level and show them who's boss. You do this apparently by throwing ropes at them and just barely hitting them with arrows.
Two-Headed Giant: 5
There are a lot of things in the skies of Innistrad. Fortunately you have enough ropes for each opponent to lose one of their precious fliers. Now do stuff to hurt them like attacking or I guess make clue tokens. Maybe you can delirium if you want?
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| I like to imagine the creature is beating the other to death with Clue tokens |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
This is going to be the card that wins games that no one expects. Or equally as likely, it isn't going to do anything. I wouldn't trust what I say. However if you do have enough clue cards in some combination of blue, green, or white, this could be huge. At a minimum, give a creature a small buff and get a clue.
This is going to be the card that wins games that no one expects. Or equally as likely, it isn't going to do anything. I wouldn't trust what I say. However if you do have enough clue cards in some combination of blue, green, or white, this could be huge. At a minimum, give a creature a small buff and get a clue.
Dan:
Limited: 5
It's alright, and belongs in the Mystery Machine (MM from here on out) beatdown deck. This seems not super great though, because you usually want to eat clues for cards. Luckily this does investigate, so you get get least +1/+1 out of it, and a clue to draw, so it's fairly low-risk to put in your deck.
Two-Headed Giant: 5
Just as average, but you do get the choice of hitting your teammate's critters as well! Slightly above average, hooray!
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| Oh god, it's on his head |
Dan:
Limited: 3
Yeah yeah, delirium, whatever. I think there are better ways to enable it, since this is expensive and doesn't give a huge payoff. Although if you have a few ways to sacrifice lands, you can swarm them with beetles. Also this art makes me scratch my head to make sure my hair isn't full of botflies and it makes me super nervous.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
I'm giving this a little bit higher of a rating than I should because the first part is a may effect. So if you really want, you can just ignore putting stuff from your library to graveyard and then when you discard lands or sac them for something, you get a creatures. There are more than enough things to fuel getting rid of lands and get you insects. I don't know what you're gonna do with all those insects but you have them now.
I'm giving this a little bit higher of a rating than I should because the first part is a may effect. So if you really want, you can just ignore putting stuff from your library to graveyard and then when you discard lands or sac them for something, you get a creatures. There are more than enough things to fuel getting rid of lands and get you insects. I don't know what you're gonna do with all those insects but you have them now.
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| They didn't print Elvish Mystic, but now EVERYTHING can be Elvish Mystic! |
Gaige:
Limited: 9
You just turned everything on the board into a land which you can use to ramp into who knows what. This is also great for color fixing because as I'm sure you read on the card, it is mana of any color. ANY color. Who needs fetches when you can have this?
You just turned everything on the board into a land which you can use to ramp into who knows what. This is also great for color fixing because as I'm sure you read on the card, it is mana of any color. ANY color. Who needs fetches when you can have this?
Dan:
Limited: 7
This can do some work, especially if you're rockin' a token deck, as you suddenly have near infinite mana. in the clue-beedoo deck this is great too, as you'll be able to pop clues all the time with your butt ton of mana, and your hand will be as full as me after I eat this entire pizza I just ordered.
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| "Things are so shitty that wolves seem not so bad." |
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is some ridiculous top end in a werewolves deck, and can easily make you win if you get a turn without a spell being cast. The fact that he (they?) is (are?) pretty big on it's own is nice too.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
I like things that make other things. I wish this had maybe one evergreen keyword to make this more stand alone playable. Not that a 5/4 is bad but a 5/4 vigilance would be better. If you have enough flippers, or as was recently brought to my attention, keep flipping one or several back and forth.
I like things that make other things. I wish this had maybe one evergreen keyword to make this more stand alone playable. Not that a 5/4 is bad but a 5/4 vigilance would be better. If you have enough flippers, or as was recently brought to my attention, keep flipping one or several back and forth.
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| It's people. He definitely feeds them people. |
Gaige:
Limited: 9
More mana fixing. Who cares if you aren't running black. You now have an additional green and mid to late game if you get delirium online then he can block or poke with his dirty fungus touch.
More mana fixing. Who cares if you aren't running black. You now have an additional green and mid to late game if you get delirium online then he can block or poke with his dirty fungus touch.
Dan:
Limited: 7
Fixing/ramp that can trade up later is pretty good. I'm surprised he even has two power with those scrawny ass arms though. Hit the gym, bro.
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| Human or wolf, this guy just loves yelling. |
Dan:
Limited: 8
Man, green wolfies is looking really strong. A bear that can draw you cards, and then transforms to a 3/3 that makes your other goobers cheaper? That's wicked sexy. I expect this to be a very high pick for green, even if you aren't in the werewolf deck. It's crazy that this is just an uncommon, too.
Two-Headed Giant: 8
So the rating doesn't change, he is still a very good card, but just wanted to point something out for 2HG. It's not super often that a turn goes by without anyone casting a spell, so getting these type of guys to flip could be difficult. Flipping back to the front relies on one player casting two spells, so it only counts individuals, not teams. You have been warned, and play accordingly.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
A weird hairy anticipate that you can do whenever you have the mana. If you decide to turn 3 were-ticipate, then on your opponents turn you get a 3/3 and on your turn 4 you can play a 5 cost creature. (I think there might be some famous angle or something) if you have it in hand.
A weird hairy anticipate that you can do whenever you have the mana. If you decide to turn 3 were-ticipate, then on your opponents turn you get a 3/3 and on your turn 4 you can play a 5 cost creature. (I think there might be some famous angle or something) if you have it in hand.
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| He looks half a second away from falling off that zebra. |
Gaige:
Limited: 3
A little lower since I don't fee like figuring out how many humans there are. Feel free to adjust this rating for human inflation. I mean there are a lot, so you'll probably have some to play this on. You'll also probably have your creature killed as soon as you put this on it and if you want to lose 2 cards from there one, then I'd say you need more advice than I can offer you.
A little lower since I don't fee like figuring out how many humans there are. Feel free to adjust this rating for human inflation. I mean there are a lot, so you'll probably have some to play this on. You'll also probably have your creature killed as soon as you put this on it and if you want to lose 2 cards from there one, then I'd say you need more advice than I can offer you.
Two-Headed Giant: 4
Just a hair better since if you run out of humans or don't have any creatures you can put it on a friends guy, or girl, or scarecrow...whatever they have really.
Just a hair better since if you run out of humans or don't have any creatures you can put it on a friends guy, or girl, or scarecrow...whatever they have really.
Dan:
Limited: 2
Even on a human, paying four mana for an aura is risky biz, and +3/+3 isn't work putting yourself in a spot to get two for one'd. And as someone on reddit pointed out, this doesn't even give your dude horsemanship so what the fuck is the point.
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| Pfft wussy ass escort won't even walk down that 1 meter wide path. |
Dan:
Limited: 4
I at first thought this put one on the field, which would have been pretty insane, but turning on delirium is alright I guess. And fixing is cool. Not a bad card overall, and probably worth playing if you need delirium badly.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
Scroll up. Somewhere above I reviewed some card about a land the graveyard from anywhere gets you bugs. This is anywhere. Plus I'm a sucker for land fixing in limited. Really I'm just a sucker for green. If were being honest, I'm just kind of a sucker. Turns out that Nigerian prince didn't actually have a play set of expedeiions and just stole my identity.
Scroll up. Somewhere above I reviewed some card about a land the graveyard from anywhere gets you bugs. This is anywhere. Plus I'm a sucker for land fixing in limited. Really I'm just a sucker for green. If were being honest, I'm just kind of a sucker. Turns out that Nigerian prince didn't actually have a play set of expedeiions and just stole my identity.
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| I changed my mind - I'm only ok with spiders if they're smaller than birds. |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
There are a lot of scary things on Innistrad but this spider's biggest fear is the ground. If you're a bird get ready to get webbed, but if you're a people or wear-wolf (a wolf with a fashion sense) then fear not. Even with being afraid of the ground you'd think he'd have some flavor ability like:
(1): target creature walks into an invisible fucking web and it gets on their face and its super fucking annoying and impossible to get off and they are so distracted that they assign no combat damage when they block this turn.
This new mechanic is called "Webbed." You're welcome Wizards.
There are a lot of scary things on Innistrad but this spider's biggest fear is the ground. If you're a bird get ready to get webbed, but if you're a people or wear-wolf (a wolf with a fashion sense) then fear not. Even with being afraid of the ground you'd think he'd have some flavor ability like:
(1): target creature walks into an invisible fucking web and it gets on their face and its super fucking annoying and impossible to get off and they are so distracted that they assign no combat damage when they block this turn.
This new mechanic is called "Webbed." You're welcome Wizards.
Dan:
Limited: 6
I dunno why this bro can't just drop a web on the ground, but whatever. He's a 3/3 for three, which isn't too shabby, and he can block spoopy air ghosts. Kind of sucks that ground things just walk past him, but what can you do. Spiders aren't super smart.
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| New creature type! Time to start brewing up Mole tribal. |
Dan:
Limited: 6
I certainly don't hate a fat butt for three, cause he's a nice blocker. Gaining life when you sac a clue helps the MM deck go long and eventually just grind your opponent to death with cards. I wouldn't be thrilled about playing him in a deck without clues, but he isn't terrible if you need three drops.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
I'll play just about anything with a 4 butt when it's three cost or less. Throw in the clue bonus and I'll give you a clue: this card is pretty alright. Mole seems like an odd choice because I feel like wolves or dogs could also smell unnatural things. Maybe even a pig because people use those to find truffles. Maybe they can use the pig to find trouble. Those words sound similar enough and im 93% sure a pig's sense of smell is based on word similarity.
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| He's an earth-bender. |
Gaige:
Limited: 3
I'm not going back to change anything but the more I see green the more I can see how land dump shenanigans in limited might be viable. Enter this card. Play a spell, literally anything. You probably have some land in the graveyard and you just hate delirium. Now you can pay 2 mana and get a land back. This will be the saddest thing to draw late game when you need an answer for Olivia "this sword is empty like me" Voldaren.
I'm not going back to change anything but the more I see green the more I can see how land dump shenanigans in limited might be viable. Enter this card. Play a spell, literally anything. You probably have some land in the graveyard and you just hate delirium. Now you can pay 2 mana and get a land back. This will be the saddest thing to draw late game when you need an answer for Olivia "this sword is empty like me" Voldaren.
Dan:
Limited: 1
A 1/1 is small and not super great, and getting lands back that you threw out isn't a huge payoff. I think this guy's place is in constructed, chillin' with Molten Vortex.
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| Apparently this flavor text saying "company" is really funny, but I don't get it. |
Dan:
Limited: 7
His front half is pretty weak, but the chance to draw a card is nice. If he flips he is a force to be reckoned with, and if you can draw two cards, then damn. Way to go. Sadly in limited there aren't tons of instants being thrown around, but this does make blue decks sad.
Two-Headed Giant: 8
This will make the other team wicked sad, and will make you very safe during combat. I'd definitely run this if you have someone playing green.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
The dude just wants just chill in his cabin and you have to be a dick and play spell son my turn. Well fine you do immediately kill him but I get to draw. Maybe you wait until he flips and flash in something dumb. Then I draw two, idiot. This old man is fierce and pretty good for me.
Two-Headed Giant: 8
"...if you have somone playing green" You better fucking bet I'm forcing green and Avacyn because I will definitely pull those things. I realize that has nothing to do with this card but its 2HG relevant. Yes this card is better in 2HG.
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| If you're going to be knocking trees over you might as well profit off it.. |
Gaige:
Limited: 8
It shouldn't be too difficult to get this to transform pretty early on. If you're on the play it will be even easier. There are a lot of two drops and some one drops but if they miss one of those, then their timber is going to get shredded.
Dan:
Limited: 6
The potential to get a 4/2 trample for only two mana is too good to pass up. If you get lucky and your oppenent is a dumberoni who didn't play anything on turn three after you dropped this, then you are in super good shape.
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| CAUSE I AIN'T NO HOWLPACK GURRRL |
Dan:
Limited: 6
This with Cult of the Waning Moon is absolutely bonkers. If you have the cards that spawn wolf tokens, this card is spectacular and you should run it. But that does require some lucky pulls, and this doesn't do a whole lot in a green deck that isn't running a critical mass of pups.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
With flash and it affecting both sides of you're werewolves it makes all of you human flip cards better. Plus trample. Trample is pretty nice. You'll be able to get a little more damage through.
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| This card name is how I feel on Sundays. |
Gaige:
Limited: 8
I don't think delirium is actually going to be that hard to get online. There is just so much weird graveyard stuff and a lot of land graveyard things in green. Bare minimum you have a super goopey 3/3 for 3 that is maybe better at some point.
Dan:
Limited: 8
This is some serious payoff for getting delirium. A 3/3 for three is butter, and making more 3/3s every time it attacks is like that cinnamon butter that restaurants give you with the bread you get as an appetizer before meals.
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| She stole some dude's horse! |
Dan:
Limited: 6
The stats for cost aren't terrible, plus she's all trompley. She'll help you get some extra damage in as well. She's not the blingiest card, but is a good include in a human deck.
Gaige:
Limited: 5
What's better than one horse? Two according to this cards art. What's better than one human with trample? Another one that get's +2/+2. Hopefully you were able to play one by this time.
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| Creature type should be Boarror |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
For draft I would pull this as something late game and in sealed I would play this if I'm lacking in bigger things. As stated before I don't think delirium will be hard to get online, and by turn six you should have some things in your graveyard.
Dan:
Limited: 5
Sometimes you used your first 40 pulls on three cost spells and you need a fatfat to end the game. This is the card that does that. It's embarrassing to play this, but we're all just nerds playing card games so most everything we do is super embarrassing.
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| She's basically Lennnie from 'Of Mice and Men' |
Dan:
Limited: 7
All it takes is one buff or equipment or some shit to make her able to attack, and she can block while you wait to make her stronger or find a big guy. For two mana that's really good. Her flipside is strong as well, and overall this is just a pretty powerful beatstick.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
"As a pacifist I refuse to harm anything, unless of course I have an ally who is stronger than me here to help me fuck shit up." To pull away from functionality for a minute the flavor tickles me. Someone who is against violence will suddenly start fighting not when threatened but when she has muscle behind her. She's not a pacifist so much as a opportunist. Now to functionality. I will play this. Even if she can't attack right away, having a 3/3 to prevent some on the ground attacks makes you feel safe and if your opponent doesn't play a spell then she goes from pacifist to your ass-in-fist.
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| "Loam" is a soil with roughly equal portions of sand, silt, and clay, for those of you who are stupid as fuck like me and don't know things. |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
I'm aware that I keep over ranking land fixing but I just hate getting land stuck. More than anything in magic I hate not being able to play things. This allows you to make two (or three if you're a true hero) colors more accessible to you even if you do have to tap another creature.
Dan:
Limited: 5
This isn't bad for ramp and fixing, and I really 1/2s for one for some reason. Not the best to grab off the top of your library on turn eight when you're topdicking, though.
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| Two counters really isn't that unreasonable, but "Reasonably Strong" didn't sound as cool. |
Dan:
Limited: 3
This can make a creature super super huge, but it suffers from all of the same risk of all combat tricks. If they just remove/bounce your guy, you wasted your card.
Two-Headed Giant: 4
You can make your friends critters swole, which is a little boon, so it's slightly less stupid to run this in 2HG.
Gaige:
Limited: 3
Meh.
Two-Headed Giant: 4
Less meh but still meh.
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| My Fungus deck is so happy! |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
My anaconda is pleased because this fungus has buns. Plus mid to late game it can get some nice front butt to do some damage to your enemies and their bun-less creatures.
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is a super strong little mold. An 0/4 blocks like a champ and then a 3/4 later is a strong beater. The delirium deck definitely wants these for early game, and Tarmogoo will probably be one of the premium commons.
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| "I better point this at the sky in case I encounter anything" |
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is spectacular removal for a wolf deck, and should be a very high pick for you. As you may have speculated, this card is slightly worse in a human deck, as it then does nothing.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
Giving this an 8 is based on the fact that I'm assuming you have lot's of wolves and werewolves. If you don't then I give this card a 3 and you shouldn't run it. But yes even if you have two or three wolf things it can kill a fairly sizable creature. The best part is that they don't fight and your wolves just deal damage so you won't lose any.
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| He's that weird guy in your psychology class who always compliments your smooth skin. |
Gaige:
Limited: 6
At a were-minimum he is a 2/2 for 2. He can also be a chumper if you want to make something else better.You should never assume you'll always have delirium but it also doesn't look too terribly difficult to get online so if you can you can just keep buffing things all over.
Two-Headed Giant: 7
Bonus point for putting +1/+1 counters on your allies creatures.
Dan:
Limited: 6
In addition to the art being fucking terrifying, this guy is pretty good. You can just drop the counter on him for a bear, or throw it on your most evasive guy to sneak in bonus damage. If you get delirium online and they don't kill this guy, he can easily make you win.
Two-Headed Giant: 7
You can drop counters on your teammates creatures too, so this is a very solid way to close out the game.
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| That smaller thing is definitely a raccoon. |
Dan:
Limited: 8
Skeletor's dog is crazy strong. A 4/3 for four is already a fine playable card, and if you toss flash on it, it gets into the above average territory. Then he can also get you a 2/2 puppy as he enables delirium for you. That's a nice pile of shit, and this will be very good in a green deck, but not so much in mono red.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
Flash in with delirium fodder that may also have weird land graveyard interactions for above cards? Yes please. Also a skeleton dog plus a much smaller less alpha wolf is nice. You now either have two attackers for next turn or you just killed some ground creature with toughness 6 or less.
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| Science has finally succeeded in breeding a puppy and a hedgehog. |
Gaige:
Limited: 4
As a common I realize I'll likely get this over some of the above cards, but I would rather have the above cards. If I'm hurting for green creatures or trying for wolf things I'll throw this in there and late game he can become a 6/6.
Dan:
Limited: 5
This guy isn't too bad as a spiky early bear, and then a nice mana-sink to make him a big threat late. He's perfectly average, and fits in just fine in any green deck, though he's quite a bit worse than Oran-Rief Invoker from BFZ.
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| I always tell my dog that if he ever bites me that I'll bite him back, and this art is exactly what I imagine. |
Dan:
Limited: 8
Here's green's premium common removal spell, and it features awesome art and flavor text that reads like something I would have typed up. The creatures don't even fight, you just zap them, and that's as good as it gets for green. At only two mana this is a steal, and is going to be a powerful rabies spreading machine.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
I hope you have big things because if you do then this is green removal. Well it's green removal regardless of what you have but its good green removal if you have big dudes. With only doing damage to their creature and not fighting, that only makes this card better.
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| SCOOT OUT WITH YOUR ROOT OUT |
Gaige:
Limited: 4
Definitely sideboard only. If they end up having Tamiyo's journal or some other annoying enchantment then you can use this to get rid of it, but there's no point in wasting space in your deck assuming they have something you'll need to get rid of.
Dan:
Limited: 4
Sideboard stuff, and quite good. Put it in if they have a particularly murdery enchantment or artifact, and blow it up. A nice upside is that if you never see something you really want to blow up, you can always zap one of their clues and get your own.
Two-Headed Giant: 5
This is almost maindeckable in 2HG, since you're likely to find at least one target, and it investigates for you. I wouldn't be thrilled about needing to run this, but when there's only one game without sideboaring, having at least a bit of artifact/enchantment hate is a good idea.
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| No matter his form, his hands are wicked glowy. |
Dan:
Limited: 7
Good ol' flamehands here looks like he'll be strong. In a random green deck, he's a five cost 3/3ish that draws you a card, and when he flips, he's probably going to be a 6/6 or so vigilance trample, which is really good. He's even more groovy in the Simic Mystery Machine, as you'll be able to use all those clues to fill your hand up and make sure his front side is strong, Because of that, I'm gonna call the front side Shaggy, and the back is Scooby.
Two-Headed Giant: 8
If he stays on his flipside in 2HG, he is an insane beater. He can easily be a 12/12 vigilance trample, and that is a very fast clock.
Gaige:
Limited: 1
Like I really want to pay 5 mana for a card that is probably only going to be a 2/2 or 3/3. Sure it'll flip into maybe a 4/4 but for 5 mana? No thank you. Man, no need to get so riled up over magic, I'm super joking. I give this card an 8 for sure. Even if he comes in pretty low you get the added bonus of drawing a card and if he manages to flip then it's time to hurt some ones ego.
Two-Headed Giant: 2
Double the hands equal double the rating. Obviously this is also a joke but at quick glance a lot of people are really angry. Yes this card is a true 9 in 2HG and will do some serious damage if it flips with four people having hands of cards.
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| Is "mythic green sorcery" the new "mythic red phoenix with haste"? |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
Get whatever you from your graveyard and lots of them. If you are lucky enough to pull this and the ancient sage from above you are going to do some gross things to your opponent. Whatever your opponents got rid of, you just get back. One more fun little feature is after being cast, this just goes on the bottom of the library. In a weird situation you could potentially not lose from lack of deck because every turn you draw this then it goes back as your library and gives you things to play. I like to think that somewhere out there it will happen on pre-release weekend...
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is a great late-game play for green, and coincidentally the best followup to Sage of Ancient Lore ever. Limited decks usually have nice smooth curves, so chances are you're going to get four or five back from the bin. If you have this in your hand ready to cast you can also trade some guys in combat, knowing that you'll be able to just get them back.
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| Axes are crucial in harvesting corn. |
Dan:
Limited: 7
Play GW humans/spirit tokens, play this card, double your creatures. Pretty simple, right?
Gaige:
Limited: 7
In addition to your humans and spirits, let's not forget that clues are tokens. If you're running some clues deck you could just double your creatures and your potential card draw.
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| I didn't know how to pronounce "partisan" until I was like 20. |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
You buff a guy, you get a wolf. They kill a wolf, you get a wolf. They take control of a wolf, you get a wolf. You get lots of wolves to do lots of wolf things. Flood the board and overrun them with wolfy goodness. Plus if he is shot by something he turns into a 2/2 wolf. Having trample is interesting. I think if you just stack all your wolves on him he absorbs their power and becomes bigger.
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is bucko has a thuper high ceiling for power. If you have a lot of puppies and a bunch of pump spells, you can quickly flood the board and win. Even if they kill him, he turns into another 2/2, and if they dare strike at another another dog, you get a dog. Sadly he is a 2/2 for three mana, and if they kill him right away he just turns into a vanilla 2/2. Not bad, but can potentially be a flop.
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| From "strong independent hunter" to "just another number." |
Dan:
Limited: 5
3/4 for four is playable, though not exciting. His flippy side is a very big vanilla beater, too. Super boring, but if you need a four drop, he's acceptable. He also is a pup, so that's good for some decks.
Gaige:
Limited: 5
His tips and tricks for making a living include becoming a werewolf and just killing whatever he damn well pleases. He does work with wolf synergy but is super boring. Not unplayable just boring. Even his flip side is boring. Once again, it's not bad because he turns into a big guy, just boring. He will add to any wolf spells you have though.
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| It looks like in nature documentaries when snakes eat so much that parts are still sticking out of their mouths. |
Gaige:
Limited: 8
A real solid delirium ability and if it goes off even once he get's pretty hard to deal with. If it goes off multiple times then you win.
Dan:
Limited: 7
More nice payoff for delirium, and another pretty solid card. If this triggers twice, there's a good chance you're going to eat them with this dude and win.
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| He's rockin' my dream beard. |
Dan:
Limited: 5
He's dreamy, but not that great in game. Totally acceptable to play if you have quite a bit of self mill or things that make you sac or discard lands, but not great. This is a good example of a filler card that no one is super stoked about playing.
Gaige:
Limited: 4
I could see this in a GW human deck when needing some extra creatures. I won't blame you for playing it so long as you don't judge me for doing the same. It has the added bonus of maybe getting a land back if you were able to toss some in there already.
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| All I can gather from this art is that trees are scary on Innistrad. |
Gaige:
Limited: 9
If you've actually stuck with us this far then you should have guess I gave this card a 9. I will always play land fixing if I'm playing green and late game you can instead search for your bomb creature you've been waiting all game for.
Dan:
Limited: 8
This is a good first pick. It's helps with fixing when you need it to, and then later it can grab your most badass duder. It's cheap for a decent effect, so rock on Ulvenwald.
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| Good thing they aren't Thorn-hind wolves. The last thing you want near your butthole is spikes. |
Dan:
Limited: 2
The numbers are in the wrong order, since I like a 5/4 for five way more than a 4/5 but whatever. It'd still be jank anyways. The only real use it has is if you need a higher cost wolf in your tribal deck, but you should be ashamed of yourself for needing to play it.
Gaige:
Limited: 3
When this is all you have left and you need filler you use this. It's sorta big and it can at least hit some wolf triggers if you're building around that.
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| Man I hate how many clues are in this set, cause I can only think of that stupid South Park episode. |
Gaige:
Limited: 8
Landfall in Innistrad. Emrakul confirmed as moon. Tireless Tracker the clue pooper can potentially give you lots of card draw if she lives past the turn you play him. Then if you just have 2 extra mana you get to draw and give her a +1/+1 counter. If you have other ways to sacrifice clues than ever better for you.
Dan:
Limited: 8
Daphne is very good, and obviously pairs insanely well with the rest of the gang. Her and Velma together is just wild, and I bet if you googled that you'd find some weird rule 34 shit. But for real, getting a clue with each land drop is very powerful, and getting stronger with each clue she eats is a great upside.
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| The chances of me forgetting this has reach is 100%. |
Dan:
Limited: 7
A 7/7 reach is very good, and being able to grab any land is a nice ability. Sadly he is easily chumped. Trample prolly woulda been a lot better than reach on this bro. Also, similar to Seed Guardian, this is a gigantic wall of text, and it's easy to forget there is reach. Please don't be a Dan and lose a match because you're too stupid to read your seed.
Gaige:
Limited: 8
Odds are that when he enters he is a 7/7 reach for 6 which I'm in love with. It is possible that you have to sacrifice some lands or you ramped into him but even a 4/4 or 5/5 reach is still pretty good. When you play him you also get to grab any land and not just a basic so if you're hurting for a color or you got demon spawn church land you can get those as well.
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| The real mystery is which deck you play this in. |
Gaige:
Limited: 6
A lot of things die on Innistrad, your creatures included. Although it doesn't trigger off tokens, you should have plenty of things give you clues and when you spend those clues you get more things that can die... and you know... clue draw.
Dan:
Limited: 6
I don't like playing cards that don't do anything right away, but the payoff for this is alright. It can roll with the gang in the Mystery Machine, or it can bounce with GW humans if you have good ways to generate clues. Not quite a ladle on the balls, but it gets the job done.
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| "We must put this book into a jar to preserve it for years to come." |
Dan:
Limited: 7
The vessel cycle is spiffy, and this one is arguably the best of the tubes. One cost to drop is cheap indeed, and then the saccing it will probably trigger delirium just on its own, since you drop four cards in the dead stuff bucket after grabbing whatever you needed most. I think any green deck would want to play this, and it's a yummy common.
Gaige:
Limited: 7
You have to either have the wierdest deck or be the unluckiest person if you reveal four and only get instants and sorcery cards. You will get your pick of pretty much anything in hand and unless you have 3 or 4 of the same card type, this will be a huge help in getting you to delirium.
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| So many chicks dual-wield on Innistrad, it's awesome. |
Gaige:
Limited: 7
Just in case you didn't know, this card lets you know that humans are green white. Yes I realize within the color pie white is more double strike than green so it works that way too. Like many other cards in this set at base she is a 2/2 for 2. In a couple turns she can give herself or someone else double strike and you can wait until after blocker declared to decide how you want to ruin someones day.
Two-Headed Giant: 7
I refuse to start giving cards .5 ratings but in 2HG this is somewhere between a 7 and an 8. It's close to an 8 because you can hit your allies creatures. It leans back towards a seven because ideally you have most of the humans in your deck and you might whiff on your allies creatures.
Dan:
Limited: 7
This is a great include for GW Hoomins. It's a bear early, then it can give any of your humans double slap later. Super late game you may be able to activate this twice, which is like... I dunno, something great. Syrup on waffles.
Two-Headed Giant: 7
It says "target", not "target you control"! Be aware that you have to option to hit your bro's bros as well. That's great like... having the person next to you on your flight not show up and getting extra shoulder room? Sure, let's go with that.
Damn man, that was fun. Green looks amazing this set, and it's a great change from green's reputation in BFZ limited. GB delirium is gonna be a rockin' dick (this was a typo of deck that I just decided to keep, cause yall know how much I love rockin' dick). I thought it was gonna be shit, as you could tell from my comments on Altered Ego yesterday, but the green blue Mystery Machine is going to be pretty sweet to play, and I'll definitely give it a try. You know, mainly so I can overuse the Mystery Machine joke in real life as well as in this article.
Think I'm wrong? Think green is more BFZ and less OGW? Think you can come up with a better name than the Simic Mystery Machine? Let us know by leaving a comment below, or send a message with the form on the sidebar!
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