Bringing Strangers Together

Forgot what Wizard's Tower is? Me too. Check out the original post here!

"Are we done with this picture yet, I need to figure out how to beat Eldrazi in modern"

-Beardface

By the time I hit post it will actually be Thursday but just barely and I haven't gone to sleep yet so I'm still counting it as Wednesday.

This past weekend Dan and I did a 2HG tournament at our LGS and without getting too into how we did (bad. we did bad) after the event was over we got into one of the best games of wizards tower I have ever played.

The tournament ended up finishing way earlier than we expected so we busted out the wizards tower and invited some of the random scrubs to play. We got a game of 6 going that lasted about 2 hours and BOY WHAT A TWO HOURS IT WAS. There were board wipes, control swaps, tears, laughter, and I'm pretty sure someone lost their virginity. Basically, wizards tower is just great to bust out in between rounds or when you have a by or are just hanging out. Everyone wants to play because it has something for everyone. Casual players have fun and competitive players grow to hate magic as they realize they have no control over what's happening in the game. So start building and start towering with randos and maybe by the end you'll end up with a couple more friends (when you're at zero friends you can only get more friends right?)

Don't know where to start? Neither do I but here is a card you should play and one you shouldn't.

He needs to have four hands to hold all these cards he's drawing.

If you were around during the Theros block hopefully at some point you pulled this bullshit Dictate of Kruphix because that card should be in every Wizard's Tower. If you have some spare change from all the mountain dew bottles your mom deposited maybe you can go pick one up. It's a great global effect and only adds to the game since everyone gets to draw two cards. It causes even weirder things to happen since people get more options to pull bullshit cards. In conclusion, Dicktate of Kruphix: yes, always.

Sometimes the physical touch brings relief as well ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

On the other hand, some seriously underwhelming card draw: Healing Hands. This card will always have a special place in my heart because it's in my shitty life gain standard deck (which may or may not make a guest appearance on some Sunday) but I acknowledge it is a bad card. Wizard's Tower does not change this. While drawing cards is always nice, the life gain will almost do nothing because with at least three opponents you could be dead at any moment, and an extra four life won't stop that. This card will almost always get played as a land so unless you're deciding between eating or funding your wizards tower, don't use this. It's boring, like you.


-Gaige

Dan:

I too, wrote a thing. We're gonna look at two more cardboard squares and evaluate them. As we all know (or, well, at least I know), good cards can be shitty in Wizard's Tower, and shitty cards can be good. So lets look at a good example of a card that was shitty in it's own standard, but has finally found a comfy home in our Wizard's Tower.

I tried to make a lot of decks with him. They were all really, really bad. Just like me.

Tymaret, the Murder King is a baller creature from Theros, or possibly the lead singer of a Finnish Death Metal band. Tymmy never quite made it in standard for a couple of reasons. 

• Sure, he only costs two, but it's in two colors. There's no guarantee you'll have this available on turn two when you'd most want to play him.
• Getting rid of yet another critter to bring him back, and then needing to pay his mana cost once again is pricey.

Ok, god damnit Tymmy. That's not good. Not able to cope with real life, he instead hides away in a bulk bin for the rest of his zombie days. But everyone's favorite zumbie king can make his triumphant return in a Wizard's Tower! Let's see why the tower just doesn't give a fuck about his standard deficiency.

• In Wizard's Tower, you always have two colors on turn two. In fact, you have every color you need on turn two like some sort of rich land baron, so you can always play him on curve.
• Who cares how expensive he is to bring back from the GY, because anyone can do it. If I play Tym, and Gaige shoots him, Gaige has the opportunity to return him from the GY and play him on his turn. Note that the player with priority gets first dibs on saccing a bro and paying to bring him back to hand, so be aware of everyone's board and mana when activating this, as they can activate it in response and make you look like a stupid.

So he's not the swolest bro in the tower, but his graveyard ability makes him fun. Any card that anybody can utilize from the GY is awesome, because it will lead to shenanigans when everyone forgets he's in the bin, and everyone loves shenanigans. Cards like this make up the bulk of your tower - not game-enging, not the most stellar interaction, and not something that makes everyone at the table poop their pants, but it's a good play that'll keep each game fresh.

Well, what about a dope card that is not so dope in Wizard's Tower?

Load the Ban-cannon.

I think we can all agree Prime Time is a good card, right? He's a 6/6 tromple for six, he gets you two lands instantly, then just keeps growing lands if he lives. Pretty good mang. Strong enough to be banned in EDH, and have a modern deck based on him. Well, until they banned the other broken shit in it.

But in Wizard's Tower? Well, he's a trompley vanilla 6/6. There aren't lands in Wizard's Tower, you stupid idiot. Since you just play other cards face down as lands, all of the text after "trample" is mot. Instead, put Tymaret in your tower, and have fun killing him and bringing him back to serve you like the necromatic sociopath you've always wanted to be. 

- Dan



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