Friday, March 11, 2016

Magic Duels - The Culling of the meta

Hey there fellow magic players and digital nerds. Magic Duels had an announcement recently that could cause quite a shakeup in it's own little inbred meta. What's Magic Duels? you hate going outside? Hate having to speak to fellow players? Can only win games when you're naked? Then Magic Duels might be for you.

Cheetos not included.
But I'm going to be assuming you know what Magic Duels is, especially if you followed this link here from the Magic Duels subreddit. If for some reason you're browsing this blog/that sub and have no idea what we're talking about, then you should probably re-evaluate the subs you browse. But anyways, the short story is that Magic Duels is the latest installation in Wizards' "Duels of the Planeswalkers" series. It's a PC/Xbox/PS#whatever game where you play Magic against either other neckbeards boarded up in their basements, or against computer players. This version is free, and they update the card pool with each new set. It's pretty tight, even if Two Headed Giant is buggy as fuck.

Yeah, get used to this popup.
They also got rid of the three and four player FFA multiplayer that the series used to have, which I also feel was kind of fucking dumb. They also got rid of chat in games and... like, a lot of good stuff. It's like they were like "Man, pizza is good, but think how much money we'd save if we just didn't put it on crust."

Just like Ma made back home.
Sidetracked by being angry, my bad. It has its issues, but if you're just looking for a bizarre meta to screw around with while you're watching Anime porn on your second monitor, Duels is a pretty good option, and I've had a lot of fun with it.

So back to the point - why are we suddenly talking about Duels? Cause the banhammer is indiscriminate, and found its way into the safe little digital platform. Some oppressive cards were axed, and replaced with more fun versions, while some totally fine cards were removed because you know, fuck it. Let's take a look at what changed, and what your decks have to deal with now.

Finally gone:

Man fuck this card.
Besides being impossible to pronounce, this card is the most annoying thing to play against. You know what's super fun to have happen right after you dropped your third land? Certainly not having it blown the fuck up as your opponent ramps even further. This card shoots whatever land you most needed, then laughs at you by giving them a land instead. Stupid. I'm stoked they got rid of this card, since I want to punch it in the face.

There's no arguing it's a powerful card, and I get why people run it, but it creates such un-fun games. Phew, finally drew the blue source I'd been waiting for! Nah man, that's gone and I get a forest. Fuck that noise.

Replacing the stupid moss:

This is more ok.
I'm happy with this, as ramp decks should be too. It ramps you more quickly, can also color fix, and isn't as annoying as the mw...whatever the fuck acid moss.


This might be a bit overcosted.
 I don't think anyone will miss this, as it is expensive and very weak.

Comin' in hot:

I see me forgetting this is in game as well.
At least these cows have a fat butt. Blockers are cool, though I don't think this is the balling 6 drop that black has been waiting for. Still, it's better than the five cost 4/3.

Out like bellbottoms:

Three shields, three life, three toughness. Can't argue with that logic.
I'm a little sad to see Favor leave. It was cheap, gave you a bit of a buffer, and made that ass so fat. It was a great card to keep agro decks in check, and it coupled particularly well with fliers. I'd love to see a cheap flying weenie deck be good.

The new hotness:

You want big butts, you say?
I was just about to say I was OK with this, until I looked in the upper right corner. Four cost? Fuck that. This card won't get used at all. At least not by me, and if you use it, well you're a big dummy.

RIP in peace:

"Curses! Caught in a lamp once again!"
I think this card was decent, but too slow to get played. I understand them trying to axe it for a card that'll see more play.

Takin' over:

No! Run, Kiddie Giddie!
This card was already in game in the Origins packs, but now you get it for free. Hooray! This is not a terrible card, and one of the few ways to "remove" a planeswalker. From the packs you can now open Enshrouding Mist instead of this, which is a decent combat trick. Maybe with a few more we can make a tricksey agro deck featuring Mists, Titan's Str, and some other bullshit.

Gone like the wind:

Big and dumb. Mostly dumb.
I'd always sit down and start to make a ramp deck, look at my ramp targets, and see this and be sad. Sure, there are Eldrazi now with Oath, but having something better in the intro pack would make this game more fun for new players. Isn't that what you want, Wizards? They agreed, and gave us new toys.

Wormin' his way in:

Not as penis-y looking as some of his wurm brethren.
Sure he has a "small" butt and is easy to kill, but high power tromple was something green sorely needed at common. Between this, Rhox Maulers, and a few other decent high-costed guys, you can make something like a ramp deck without needing to open many cards.

Dropped like a fat girl who uses angles to look skinnier on Tinder:

"Yeah, these pics are totally recent and I'm still super sexy"
Gatecreepy was not bad. He was good fixing early on, and he stopped the Perilous Myr menace in his tracks. But they decided to remove Guildgates entirely in exchange for the new tappedlands from OGW and SOI, and Myr is no more (more on that soon). Kind of sucks, as we now have fewer dual land sources since the new ones are uncommon, but oh well.

Rebound chick:

Now this bird is fit.
This seems like a good upgrade to me, as I'd rather get something able to attack. Also it's another elf with a solid ETB effect, so I'm sure the elf decks will be happy about this one change, even if they're going to be sad with several others.

Goodnight, sweet prince:

They don't look that tough, but some how it ends up being a 13/13 or some bullshit.
Personally I'm happy to see this go, since elves have plenty of tools, and insanely efficient flying removal shouldn't be one of them. But I'm sure some people are sad, and to those people I say piss off, because elves are dumb. Let me have my fliers, racists :'[

New elves:

Didn't even realize this guy was an elf.
I don't think elf decks care about this at all, actually. This will probably just go into 4/5 color decks as more fixing.

Blew himself up on accident:

Affectionately known as the Timebomb Toucan.
This card was pretty format warping, as he was an insane defender and attacker, and made two toughness creatures much shittier than they would be otherwise. Timebomb Toucan usually traded as a two for one, and could even trade up for a 5 cost critter sometimes. He was good, but alas, he is no more.

This dumb idiot is here instead:

He is actually the only Sable creature in MTG.
I don't see much point to this card, and doubt most people will play him. If you want to, be my guest, but I'll stick to my weird spider-box artifact that draws each of us a card.


Fightin' with pipes and shit.
Red agro takes another hit, losing both the toucan and this guy. I don't think the deck is dead by any means, but this was a strong card in it, and it's sad that the deck loses him.

Not very good, but you have to deal with it:

I won't lie, this doesn't seem great. A 1/1 flying for one is already pretty mediocre, but needing to pay one every turn is even worse, especially in a low-mana deck. I wouldn't bother with him.

The last change was so minor that I'm not gonna bother posting pictures. That 2/1 for one white guy (Elite Vanugard) is replaced with a 2/1 for one white guy that is an ally (Expedition Envoy). It's also uncommon, so you only get three per deck now. So that's a little sad, but whatever, Rally is cool.

Also, as a bonus announcement, they're making a change to versus battles in April. If your opponent leaves, you just win! Huzzah, finally! Allegedly they're also making 2HG worth coins, which just makes me rock hard. Maybe one day they'll fix the terrible matchmaking and stuff, but you know, one thing at time, right?

- Dan

What do you think of the changes coming up? Are you pissed that your stupid Acid-Moss deck is going to be hurt? Think Goblin Balloon Brigade is actually the best card ever? Well, you're wrong, but we'd love to hear about it anyways! Leave a comment or send us an email using the form on the sidebar, mang.

1 comment:

  1. Oh sweet fuckery. Perilous Myr, my love. I will miss you more than you know. Foundry Street Denizen is a shame too.

    Sad to hear about the gatecreeper, but the switch makes sense.