Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Shadows over Innistrad Limited Review - Red

Welcome to our third set review, we're cruisin' right along! Prerelease is only three days away, and I have been fully aroused since the full set spoiler came out last Friday. After consulting a doctor, who wrote me a prescription for Hype, we started reviewing the color that is objectively the best. Which of course is Red.

Red > green.
If you missed our Multicolor/Colorless Limited Review or the Green Limited Review from the other day, then check them out, cause werewolves are cool. But just in case, as quick reminder we'll give you a rundown of our 1 to 10 rating scale, with 10 being the Brett Farves and 1 being the Dan trying out for the 7th grade football team.

10 – Bow down before the Magic gods, because they have bestowed upon you a gift. You will play this card, and you'll be happy about it. A recent example is something like Kalitas or Gideon.

8-9 – Give the Magic gods a thumbs up at least, cause this is some dank shit. Most decks will want this, and the only reason to not play it is if it is not in your colors, or you'd like to lose. Thunderbreak Reagent would be a card that fits here.

5-7 – All healthy meals need some veg to round it out, and these cards are anything from carrots to spinach. I'll let you decide which is the 5 and which is the 7. Stalking Drone, and Kor Shadowglider fit in this section.

2-4 – Sideboard and crappy cards. You'll play these cards less than half the time, and each one of those times you'll have to take a second to re-evaluate your life. Loam Larva, Ancient Carbs, and artifact/enchantment removal are in this range.

1 – Fuckin' forget it, man. If you're playing this card, either you're too drunk to play Magic, or you've made a horrible mistake and thought it was a different card. Fugitive Wizard, and my favorite, Harvester Troll, belong in this bracket.

Like with our other reviews, mine and Gaige's opinions sometimes differ radically on cards. We keep them separate so you can follow the advice of whichever one of us you would like to be your spirit animal. This way you can get two different perspectives on each card, which hopefully will help you to think critically about the card, or it just gives you more stuff to read during class, since you aren't paying attention anyways. We also only type out 2HG reviews if there is a major difference in functionality between regular limited and 2HG. Anwyays, red doesn't like to wait, so lets take a look at the new cards, and see if we feel the bern.

Let us see what Red cards will purge the heretics this set:

Oh so that's how that window broke.
Dan:
Limited: 8

The standard mode is a sorcery speed Twin Bolt, which isn't too bad, and would be a playable card. With madness this becomes a better Rolling Thunder, which is insanely good. The two combine for some tasty burny goodness.


Gaige:
Limited: 8

Don't get hung up on the sorcery speed. If you manage to pull some things to feed your madness then you can cast this whenever you can discard something which is whenever you damn well please. If you can't use the madness trigger you can use it to ping two small tokens or a small something on the field and clear a path for you.


More like Buttmad Vampire, amiright?
Gaige:
Limited: 7

If you can get that madness trigger to go off you can either pseudo flash in him as a blocker to kill any medium to small dude, or do it at the end of there turn so you cap blood bap them on your turn. If you do manage to hit them and he doesn't immediately get shot then he has the potential to slowly get stronger. Hard casting will be disappointing but you still get a 4/1 that might get bigger.


Dan:
Limited: 7

Madness is going to be interesting, as some cards get cheaper and way better with madness, and some just kind of have madness on the card for the fuck of it. This is the former, and a 4/1 for two madness is a good place to be. It fits in the B/R vampire tribal, and if it connects once, this card is a massive beater.


I wonder how many horses this dude goes through.
Dan:
Limited: 7

This is great in agro or faceslappin' decks. The front is a good on-curve 3/3, and then the back is an ahead of curve monster that makes all attacking creatures (including himself!) get another point of power and tromple. Very good if you plan on attacking every turn.

Two-Headed Giant: 7

Just another reminder that flipping werepups in 2HG is going to be slightly more difficult, so take that into consideration when putting them in your deck.


Gaige:
Limited: 7

A solid 3 drop, and even though the front side is vanilla that's ok because maybe you didn't see the backside to this card. It's pretty good. A 4/3 that turns into a 5/3 trample when it attacks and on top of that pile of dead horse that it gave you it also gives all your creatures trample and a small damage buff. Apparently every time he kills a horse it makes his friends stronger.


They weren't kidding, their hottest sauce is very hot.
Gaige:
Limited: 9

The only reason this doesn't get a 10 is because it's not an instant. I mean I get why it's not because then it would be close to an 11. There aren't a whole bunch of creatures with indestructible but if they flash in Avacyn during combat on your turn you can still kill whichever one of their creatures you decide. This also dodges Survive the night so if they were keeping that card up to make their bomb indestructible it doesn't matter.


Dan:
Limited: 8

Great removal that can double as a ton to the face to close out the game. Getting rid of indestructible is an upside that won't be relevant most of the time, but it's nice to have.


Might wanna get stronger chains.
Dan:
Limited: 2

Even as filler this seems pretty ghetto, since I don't ever want to play a 2/2 for three. The back is alright though, but I doubt it's worth it.


Gaige:
Limited: 2

I kind of dismiss this card since both sides are vanilla. I realize you can potentially get a 4/4 for 3 but you need no spells to be cast and then you also need no one to cast two spells in a single turn or it goes back to a 2/2 for 3. If you need filler for some wolf synergy, I understand, but this card makes my weiner go ~



YOU CAN DANCE IF YOU WANT TO, YOU CAN BURN YOUR FRIEND'S BEHIND
Gaige:
Limited: 7

I'm a little disappointed at the lack of devil creatures in this set. There are only 1 or 2 plus two cards like this that summon exploding devils. 4 mana feels expensive for 2 1/1 creatures but when you realize your paying that mana for 4 damage at instant speed then it's pretty good. Kill some combination of creatures or just one with toughness of 4.


Dan:
Limited: 8

I'm going to overvalue and play this far too often. The devil cards are cool, and 1/1 tokens that explode to do 1 damage are surprisingly strong. This is instant speed too, so you can cast this before blocks to kill two x/2, four x/1s, or a x/1 and an x/3, or... well, you get the idea. There are a lot of options when you can spread the damage around.


How to make your opponent confused during blocks.
Dan:
Limited: 8

If you get this and the other token maker, I'd definitely play both. You opponent will hate attacking and blocking, and having this swinging in with your other creatures makes them that much scarier.


Gaige:
Limited: 7

Oh look, the other devil producer. You get double the creatures but trade instant speed for a less than double cost. It gives you options and will make things difficult for your opponent. If they are low on life and they block they can still take 1 damage. There is also the possibility that you use them to kill their creatures. Maybe you keep them as blockers to shoot your opponent if they try and attack.


"What the fuck, Steve?"
Gaige:
Limited: 8

This is one of my favorite and one of the most interesting cards in the set. This has a lot versatility as well. If you do it before damage you might get rid of some blockers to prevent your creatures from dying. If they decide to block with their bomb when you have 5 mana open and playing red then they deserve to have their big creature die and should probably just hand over their cards to you because you are the alpha male now.

Two-Headed Giant: 9

Oh boy, no one is going to expect this. "Sure we each block with creature and then we all trade" "YOU HAVE ACTIVATED MY TRAP CARD FELLOW PLANESWALKER." Plus outside of killing their creature you probably just sowed some dissension in your opponents ranks because Steve didn't want to block and just take the damage but Kevin assured him "he only has one card in hand, how bad could it be?"


Dan:
Limited: 8

Do you like making your opponent afraid to block? Cause I sure as Sunday do and this is a great way to do it. I like that you can use this to make sure your tiny creatures kill their big guys when they block you, or just to have two x/x's just kill eachother outright before damage.

Two-Headed Giant: 9

You can keep up mana as your teammate plays other cards, and there is a lot more creature blocking and such with four players, so this card will be an insane blowout in 2HG, and I plan on losing to it frequently.


Two crossbows, zero problems accuracy.
Dan:
Limited: 5

I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand, there are a lot of tokens floating around, and this will get rid of two. On the other hand, if you maindeck this and play against someone with just a bunch of x/3's and such, then this card is pretty useless. Maindeck at your own risk; I'm sure I would in an aggressive enough deck.

Two-Headed Giant: 6

With two opponents, the chances of them having something to kill with this is much higher. If you're playing a fast deck that wants to get rid of early blockers, this card is great.


Gaige:
Limited: 6

This is an obvious token killer but it can also help you kill some 2 or 3 toughness creatures early game. If they have something like a 1/3 you can swing with your 2/2 and get rid of it. And it doesn't say this on the card but if you do the sideways dive like the lady while you play this and just yell "DUAL SHOT" then throw the card at them, they'll just concede right there.

Two-Headed Giant: 7

If your opponents just had the absolute best draws and they both played a creature turn 1, you can two-fer them. As you play this watch the look on your opponents face as they realize they're starting hands were really only good on the basis that they had a turn one creature and you've ruined that plan.


I do not think fighting fire with fire will help here.
Gaige:
Limited: 5 with wolves, 2 without

Put the pressure on early game by swinging in on turn 2 and causing wolf synergistic things. Then you can pump him whenever you have two extra mana to keep the pressure on and the damage going. 

Two-Headed Giant: 1

Even if one of you is doing a wolves thing don't use this unless you're really hurting for some of man's best friend's short fused cousin. Aggro in 2HG rarely works and even if you do get some early game damage in it has little impact with that ten extra life and 2 players worth of responses.


Dan:
Limited: 3

This is the first card that I can confidently say I will never play. Sure it can become a 3/2, or even a 5/2 later, which is a decent mana sink, but by default it's a 1/2 for two. Although I guess it has haste, so if you have the mana, it's a 3/2 haste for four... well fine, he's not total shit, but I still don't want to play him. There is better filler than this, but if you didn't see anything else, feel free to play it.


I'm glad vampires aren't real.
Dan:
Limited: 7

Two power on turn one is a rare treat to gorge yourself on, and giving all your vamps madness makes your discard outlets that much doper. Vampire madness will gladly take this, but don't be afraid to put this in any R/B agro deck.


Gaige:
Limited: 7

This is a better early game pressure card than the above wolf. Plus giving all 3 of the vampires you pulled madness if pretty good. If you got Olivia "I'm here to kick ass and chew humans and I'm all out of humans" Voldaren in your pulls she is a reasonably costed vampire that you can now flash in whenever. Also keep in mind that all vampires in exile, the graveyard, and your library have madness. Why is this relevant? It's not because that doesn't matter since you can only discard from your hand, but they do have madness.


"BY FIRE BE PURGED!" - Ragnaros the Firelord Avacyn the Purifier Buttmad Angle
Gaige:
Limited: 8

It's one of the better only burn spells in this set. Instant speed shoot for 3 isn't the best but pretty good. Madness makes this card even better because now you can trigger some weird thing by discarding this and shooting something for 3.


Dan:
Limited: 7

Three damage for three mana is good, though not tier 1 MLG shit. But if you can use this with madness to Bolt them, then you can really make them taste the flames of Sulfuron. I'd run this in any red deck, but madness does make it quite a bit better.


This is what happens when you drink and fly with a fire sword.
Dan:
Limited: 9

Once you have a good board, this angel can fuck some nerds up. Any time any of your creatures is block, or you block, then they take one. Block with five dudes? If you swing in, they have to pick between blocking and taking one for each block, or just letting your guys through and taking more. Shoot, they take one for each creature they manage to hit you with, too. She's absolutely bonkers with the Devils, and I'd pick her very highly.

Two-Headed Giant: 8

She still makes your creatures super annoying, but 2HG is weird with dealing damage to players. The opponents can actually just choose to deal their damage to your partner, and you guys still take the full damage, but Flameblade doesn't ping them. Not the end of the world, but it does make her a tiny bit worse. I'd still play her if I was the red head, though.


Gaige:
Limited: 8

It's a solid late game drop and will make your opponent think twice doing damage to you. This won't save you if you're already too far behind. If your opponent has just one big thing he can keep hitting you with he'll only take 1 damage so it would be annoying but won't necessarily stop him. It can turn the tides but sometimes your just too far gone.

Two-Headed Giant: 8

Although your opponents can target your other head with attacks and spells to not trigger this, you can just try and block stuff with your creatures or make sure to have creatures that they have to deal with.


The fire is actually just to cook you before they eat you.
Gaige:
Limited: 7

I have to give this a bonus point because I always forget how good menace can be until it is the reason I lose the game. Vanilla in the front but a 5 power for 5 is alright. Then if you happen to not cast spells its a 6/5 menace which can swing through a lot of things.


Dan:
Limited: 6

This isn't a bad beater, and if it flips, it becomes ravaging. It fits great in a wolf deck, and is perfectly acceptable filler for your higher end.


Ay yo, let me get my crew then we'll see who wants to talk shit.
Dan:
Limited: 7

A 3/2 haste at this cost is already a good playable card, so good for her. If you have a lot of wolves with fine backsides, you can flip 'em to that booty right away if she's already flipped, and that makes cards like Gastaf Arsonists that we just looked at much more powerful.

Two-Headed Giant: 8

Flipping is hard to do in 2HG, and even though she does need to flip first for it to work, the usefulness of her flipside is just too good to ignore, and can make a puppy deck work much better.


Gaige:
Limited: 8

Lightning ambush wolf seems pretty good. Drop her then swing in for three immediately, and for your RG werewolf deck, being able to just bring things in transformed will give you lots of fun advantages without having to wait a turn (or several) to use them to maximum effectiveness. Even if you aren't running a deck around wolves she might not be bad to throw in if your just trying to murder your opponents fast and furious: Innistrad drift.


This makes me want to play Luigi's Mansion again.
Gaige:
Limited: 7

It doesn't look like Red and Blue are as represented as a color combination choice as others, but it is still there. It's the shy girl at the party who just sits across the room from you and tries to get your attention but you're too busy talking to this girl named Olivia and you think her and her posse is all you need. I think red blue can definitely be done and this card makes RU have some fun. Copy something for tons of bonus damage and if you manage to get a madness to spell to go off you get maximum damage for minimum mana.


Dan:
Limited: 6

I am obsessed with Red/Blue decks, but I'm not sold on it this set. We'll see how strong it is after playing it, but if it does exist, it wants this card. It is mediocre removal with a nice upside, and if you're copying something like Fiery Temper with it's madness cost, then this is going to put in a ton of work.


Devils, Vampires, Werewolves, creepy bug shit... oh my..
Dan:
Limited: 7

A 2/1 for two that pings is already very good in red, and if you get delirium on, this guy is a monster that will be similar to Nettle Drone.

Two-Headed Giant: 9

Easily one of the best 2HG cards in the set. Cards that ping each opponent end up doing two damage to the enemy team, and once delirium is on, this card will blast them for two every turn. That is a lot, and if you get two of these on the field with delirium on, you will probably win.


Gaige:
Limited: 8 

As soon as you play him you're in better shape because you juts pinged your opponent. You can use him to chump or swing in if you have an empty graveyard, but if delirium is online, they'll have to answer this at some point otherwise this will be the death of them.

Two-Headed Giant: 9

LIKE LIMITED BUT BETTER. Now with two opponents if you have delirium you have a 15 turn timer before they are dead. If you are lucky enough to pull multiple of these and have them on the field then you have just lived a wet dream I've had.


I give this card a 4 out of 9.
Gaige:
Limited: 5

I feel like there is some strategy to make this super good that I don't know of. It is a 4/hardtokill with flying and haste for 4 so in an aggro deck you might be able to just shove feathers down their throat before they can do any damage to you. And even though she takes double damage she can sill block up to a 4 power creature without dying, but she's a little bit too risky for me to play just as a fat butt.

Two-Headed Giant: 4

Now all damage and hatred is directly at you and rightly so. They will try and keep this alive so they deal double damage to you and kill you twice as fast. This could still just fly over top things and finish help you win in the late game, though.

Dan:
Limited: 5

I would also be fine calling this a four of nine, rather than five of ten just to beat that joke into the ground right away. Pretend it's a 4/5 flying haste for four, and it's a good ender for an agro deck, and that is the only thing that would want her. Having you take double damage is really bad, and they can ruin you very quickly.

Two-Headed Giant: 4

2HG agro is a bit more difficult, so I'd be very nervous about putting her in any of our decks.


"QUICK, TO THE BATSIGNAL"
Dan:
Limited: 1

If you manage to pull 5 Fiery Tempers, or 4 Dance with Devils, then by all means play this card and win, but I really doubt that draft is going to happen often. You'd need a very strong spell and at minimum three copies of it for this to be worth trying.


Gaige:
Limited: 1

Since even on a good day you'll maybe only get three copies of the same card this won't do a lot for you. If you pull this on pre-release just weep silently in a corner and try again tomorrow.


He actually is a howlpack gurl.
Gaige:
Limited: 5

For any sort of aggro you're running this is pretty alright. You shouldn't ever need to worry about blocking since your strategy should be play a card then turn all sideways. Rinse, repeat, win some boosters. A little boring but don't let your non-wolf deck deter you from playing this as a face knocker.

Dan:
Limited: 6

This is a good attacker, and usually a red deck will want to attack more than block, so the downside really isn't that bad. Chances are you'll have another puppy anyways, so he's just a 3/3 for three, which is nifty.


WATCHU GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA DESTROYS YOU ?!
Dan:
Limited: 5

Another big fat butter golem that is decent filler. He bashes for a lot, and can trade up with a big expensive dude if you need to. Devils don't really care about there being other devils, so any deck with red that's somewhat aggressive can run this.


Gaige:
Limited: 5

No matter how you use him, he'll wind up killing something. Just hope he doesn't get immediately burned and you spent 4 mana for pretty much nothing. But in aggro he can be a finisher and in any thing else he can be in you're sideboard.


"Hah, you rascally scamps!"
Gaige:
Limited: 7

Take a brief moment to look at that art real close. Some of them have extra eyes on their body and one dude in the upper left just has a face growing out of his face. There is a tentacle hand. STOP THE MADNESS. Actually don't. Use the madness to haste in a 4/3 for 3 rather than for 5. Sometimes you'll just have 5 mana and no other play so you can do this but it will feel about as good as the guy feels in that art.

Dan:
Limited: 7

Sure, I'd play a 4/3 haste for three. That's creamy, and a 4/3 haste for five isn't the end of the world. These loveable munchkins are obviously at home in the vampire deck, but if you have some madness in any deck with red, they're a good include.


"QUIT HITTING YOURSELF"
Dan:
Limited: 8

More often than not, this is a four cost instant speed "Destroy target creature". That's really, really good for limited, and I would grab this over some rares.


Gaige:
Limited: 7

From briefly skimming through the set this will hit a lot of things. There aren't a whole lot of creatures with butts fatter than their fronts. This also can be a weird combat trick if they do have a bigger butt than you and you can finish off their creature. "Creature was confused....it hurt itself in it's confusion." 


Smug douche, I can't wait to sacrifice him.
Gaige:
Limited: 7

Having menace on your one drop makes him unblockable for a turn or two and when they are finally about to kill him or you get bored you can sac him for a madness trigger and to draw a card.

Two-Headed Giant: 4

The card draw is nice but the early game damage won't be as significant, and topdecking this late game will be a HUGE disappointment.


Dan:
Limited: 5

Only really worth it in the madness vamps, but he is an OK madness enabler that can poke for a bit of damage in any deck.



I keep seeing the wolf's ear as it's eye and it looks like some sort of bipedal crocodile to me.
Dan:
Limited: 7

These kind of cards are always interesting, since they pop the blocker for one before combat damage happens. This means the front side beats x/1s without dying, and the back beats x/2s without dying, which is very good. Then they can always trade up for an x/3 or x/5 respectively, making it pretty versatile for a two drop. 

Gaige:
Limited: 6

On the first side you get a lowly forger who can kill up to a 3 toughness and die to anything. On the flip side you get a werewolf who doesn't wait for weapons to cool before eating them and this gives him enough strength to kill creatures toughness 5 and still dies to some strong winds.


Not to be confused with Lava Axe.
Gaige:
Limited: 9

My Magic fantasy is to use this with fiery temper. Pay 1 to deal 5 damage to a creature then madness pay another 1 to deal an additional 3 damage to either the same target or a different creature or even your opponents body if that feels right. If you don't have a lot of madness, this can also be a delirium enabler since you can now toss something into the graveyard.

Dan:
Limited: 7

It's tough to give this one flat rating, because in a deck with tons of madness enablers this is the tits, and if you can't cast it and a madness card, you either pay a card or a buttload of mana. As long as you aren't always paying the extra five or discarding a non-madness card, then this is very strong removal.


Most aggressive Salvation Army collector ever.
Dan:
Limited: 6

A 2/2 haste at this cost is bad, but rummaging is decidedly not bad. Especially in a madness deck, obviously. I mean, he has "Mad" right in his name. With madness, rummage looks a lot more like "draw a card", so this guy is sweet. Props if you bring a little bell with you to the pre-release and ring it every time you rummage with him.


Gaige:
Limited: 6

I like the haste, and I really like it together with his rummage ability. He's a little small and and little too high costed for my taste though. At a minimum you will at least get to play his ability once no matter what and that can give you madness or delirium so that's pretty neato.


"I told you we should have went the long way"
Gaige:
Limited: 5

There is a fair amount of flying in this set but in limited it's going to be pretty hit or miss on whether they pulled any. That fact makes this card pretty hit or miss. You should probably keep it out for game one to see how there deck plays and if this would make any difference. It can be huge or it can do nothing at all. I wish you the best with this.


Dan:
Limited: 4

In the agro-est decks, this is a great game ender. Not super great if they're playing spirits or tons of flying, so maindecking it is dangerous. Sometimes you have a lightning speed deck though, and then playing this to even just get one or two blockers out of the way is enough.

Two-Headed Giant: 5

This will probably blank 5 or more dudes, and that's pretty sweet. If both of you are attacking a lot and you want to close the game out quick, this isn't bad to toss in, and you just cross your fingers and hope they aren't both playing a fuckload of fliers.


"Psst... you should totally kick him in the nuts."
Dan:
Limited: 6

These critter steal spells always end up being alright, especially the ones that pump the dudes. They're either taking a bunch of damage, or killing their own guy, so this is not bad. Madness costs the same, but if you have a dude who gets pumped by discarding, you can do that and even cast this as an instant on their turn, and then block their creature with another of their creatures and make them super sad.


Gaige:
Limited: 6

The gain control of cards in limited always seem to be the thing that kills me. This one is neat because it gives and additional plus +2/+0. If you play your cards right and can madness this on their turn you can take one of their attackers and use it as a blocker to kill their other attacker. When you return their creature to them just wink and whisper "wipe your tears with this."


That's a big puppy.
Gaige:
Limited: 6

Once he hits the field now it's your job to keep him alive. To do that have counter spells ready which will not only prevent black from flat killing him, but will give him counters to avoid being burned. Playing burn and counter spells and whatever else instants and sorcerys you have can make him get out of control fast and fire tromple some face.

Dan:
Limited: 6

If you're running more than six or seven instants and sorceries, then this guy gets big fast. We all played Vestige of Emrakul during BFZ and it wasn't bad, so even casting one makes this guy acceptable. Once you can throw out three or more with him on the field, he becomes a big red trample dog, and Clifford doesn't fuck around.


Oh god, they're climbing the cryptoliths like a jungle gym.
Dan:
Limited: 6

Don't pitch two cards hoping to buff him twice, cause you know, he'll be dead. But as a madness enabler this is not bad. A 1/3 for two doesn't die super fast, and since you can switch his power and butt if he isn't blocked, he can get in quite a bit of damage. Worth noting that cards like this let you cast instant speed madness creatures on their turn, too.


Gaige:
Limited: 6

For the madness enabler alone I would play this. Having 3 toughness should keep him alive long enough to get some use out of him and you can use him to kill off some smaller dudes by switching the power and toughness of the card. There is a 100% chance I will think he has flying when I play him based on the art.


"Is it warm in here or is it just me?"
Gaige:
Limited: 5

A worse(ish) lightning axe. But it's a common and has different utility than lightning axe. It's expensive but should kill something fairly sizeable. It will also prevent any graveyard tricksies your opponent may have since the creature goes into exile.


Dan:
Limited: 6

Expensive and boring, but killing a dude is killing a dude. Exile could be relevant, and if you happen to melt a recurring creature, more power to you.


"Gonna fuckin' jumpkick that scarecrow"
Dan:
Limited: 6

Dangerous though tricks may be, this one is not expensive, and can make you win a combat. Leaving up one red isn't much to pay, isn't super obvious for your opponents, and this even increases toughness a bit to help your creature live. Trample is nice, too, as some decks will want to push through just a little bit of extra damage.

Two-Headed Giant: 6

The card does say target creature, so it's nice that you're able to target your teammate's minions. I don't think that makes this card anything more than average, but know that it can be done.

Gaige:
Limited: 5

Giving something trample is always nice but if it's not a big creature to begin with you're really only pushing through an extra two damage. It is really inexpensive and has a Titan's Strength sort of feel to it trading a bonus +1 for trample which is a pretty nice trade off.

Two-Headed Giant: 6

USE IT ON FRIEND'S CREATURES TOO. HOORAY.


She's going to kill you with a road flare.
Gaige: 7
Limited:

Although her toughness is greater, if you're running a deck where prowess is going to trigger a lot you may not be going that aggro-y anyways. You can have this keep you safe for a while and prowess buff it to keep it alive or get some extra damage in while you kill everything they love.


Dan:
Limited: 5

The 1/3 prowess is significantly less scary than a 3/1 prowess would be. But she does have an alright butt, and if you can play a few tricks or removal, she can push it a good amount of damage and survive most combats.


Does that wolf have terrifying side-mandibles?
Dan:
Limited: 7

The stats and cost aren't bad, assuming you are heavy on red and can play this on curve. If you get delirium on and can find some way to pump this guy, he becomes a massive threat, and can smack their face for a crapton. Rush of Adrenaline comes to mind, cause a 4/3 doublestrike trample is absolutely terrifying.


Gaige:
Limited: 8

Having 2 red is easy enough and getting a 2/2 first strike for that cost is awesome. It can die to any removal but if you can get delirium then you do some real damage with double strike. Buff it with just about anything and your opponent will be left to show you their belly and lick their wounds. 



"Fuck your windows!"
Gaige:
Limited: 5

If you're playing a red aggro deck and you have madness activators then you can use this as a combat trick that remains after combat. Enchant creatures are always risky but if you're going to be running combat tricks you might as well use one that's a little more permanent.

Dan:
Limited: 3

Auras are dangerous to play, and this isn't exactly massive payoff for it. It is an OK reward though, and I can think of one specific doublestrike wolf that would be dirty as well get-out with this card. But for the most part, I'd let other kids play with this.


Tibalt in his fully realized demon form.
Dan:
Limited: 9

Oh, ok. Here is a good card. This is totes the best mono-red card in the set. Menace on a 3/2 for three is already a good playable card, and then the rest of the text is just... holy fuck, so good. Say you reveal Fiery Temper. They either take three right away, or you get Fiery Temper, which means you could just make them take three if you damn well please. Oh, not to mention, you still get your draw step after, so this is just an additional card. That's real tasty. The only thing keeping this from being a perfect ten is that at least a third of the time you'll just flip a land, and they'll just pitch it and nothing really happens. But I would play this in just about any deck, and it's even easily splashable if you see him late.


Gaige:
Limited: 10

I don't care what kind of deck you're playing, if you're running red you play this card. Actually if you pull this and aren't running red you either switch colors or splash for this. A 3/2 menace for 3 alone is nothing to shake your pitchfork at. Add his ability for extra card draw or extra damage and he will fuck. shit. up. Sure they can dump lands for free but when you reveal your bomb they can either take 6 damage now to dump it or know it is in your hand all spooky and foreboding. Plus, if they do start dumping stuff then you can get some delirium triggers.


"I feel a tingling in my spine. Maybe I should check my fucking face in the mirror"
Gaige:
Limited: 8

When I first looked at what this I figured it was alright for the 2 or 3 mana I'd have to pay but NOPE. You pay only one and put this on anything and it has to attack and then BOOM you have a spooky fairly sized bug thing on turn 2.

Dan:
Limited: 8

Wowza, here is another great card. For small creatures, this is a removal spell that gets you a 3/4. I'd play that. Sure, it isn't easy to kill giant guys with this, but this will help you break up a boardstall real quick, as you just eliminate whatever easy-to-kill dude they got. Careful with thinking you can just toss this on something like their looters or rummagers, because they can just tap it before combat to keep it safe.


Did he tape a pillow to his shoulder?
Dan:
Limited: 5

A combat trick that sticks around is worth looking at, even if both auras and tricks are typically not so great. This will almost guarantee your guy lives through combat, as he's suddenly doing a ton of damage first strike. It also is pretty good defensively, since you can block something huge with this guy in hand.

Two-Headed Giant: 6

Of course in 2HG you can hit your teammate's creatures, so this card is fierce, like Taye Diggs.


Gaige:
Limited: 5

For a combat trick I like that you can give it +3 and first strike, and as mentioned before combat tricks that say are nice, but this one is a little expensive. 

Two-Headed Giant: 6

Go ahead and flash this on to any creature that gets damage through or you want to live for either head of your team, and weird stuff will happen. Probably even in your favor.



Vampires know how to party.
Gaige:
Limited: 7

I'm loving these permanent combat tricks. Do a discard thing, discard this during combat and give everything you have first strike. Then any vampires that made it with no blocks also get +1/+1 counters when they hit the player. After all that is said and done then this just sits on the battlefield and makes all your creatures spooky and your vampires more spookier.

Dan:
Limited: 7

First strike in an agro deck is something I've heard is good, and who knew that all it took to get that was a few masks? I am stoked with the idea of casting this with madness right before damage, since you'll get counters on anything unblocked, and win any situation that would have been a trade.


Nahiri is wicked pissed.
Dan:
Limited: 2

Mediocre sideboard stuff if they have a terrifying artifact, or are running the terrifying demon land.

Two-Headed Giant: 4

Chances are one of them will have an artifact, and if not, well someone will probably be playing lands. If you need to throw in another card, this isn't horribly bad, but I would still rather not play it.

Gaige:
Limited: 2

Side board only. There aren't a whole lot of artifacts you really need to worry about to mainboard this. Sure you can destroy a land and it will set them back but by turn 4 it may have no effect on them at all. 

Two-Headed Giant: 3

It always seems that one opponent in 2HG gets land stuck. If you decide to run this as filler you can use it to keep the weak side weaker and make sure that he is even land stucker than before.


Way better than the weird Ugin art from DTK.
Gaige:
Limited: 8

This card was printed in one of the khans sets and was good in limited then. It's only better now since it feeds into madness. Use it to trigger delirium as well. Look how versatile this card draw is. Play this in all red decks. I also like the new art for it. That painting is judging her real hard.

Dan:
Limited: 6

Tormenting Voice was a good card in a format without madness, so it's only better now. You can either use this to cast a madness card, or throw away a land or whatever you don't need to improve your hand a little bit.


Red card, green eyes... R/G Legendary Ulrich werewolf confirmed.
Dan:
Limited: 7

He's a decent card without the activated ability, but in the werewolf deck, that makes Ulrich's brother-from-another-species real stronk. You can swing in indiscriminately, and if things go poorly for one of your doggs, just make it invincible.

Two-Headed Giant: 7

You can hit your teammate's wolves and werewolves too, but chances are that only one of you will be able to run the tribe, so I don't think the opportunity to do so will ever be relevant.


Gaige:
Limited: 7

Good for early aggro with a 3 power and trample. Good for mid to late game wolves once you have mana and can just make your things indestructible. Watch out for that X burn spell that ignores indestructible though.

Two-Headed Giant: 7

No better in 2HG because even with being able to target allies wolves, hopefully your ally has limited wolves so you can run them all.


It's like he painted his nails with glowy red stuff, how cute.

Gaige:
Limited: 5

It's a less good Temur Battlerage. It can be a game winner when they let 3 damage through and you turn it to 8. A little costly but not terrible. I dunno man, use at your own discrection. If you like combat tricks, try it. If you don't, then you can play a different color and skip this review.

Dan:
Limited: 4

This will almost always make you win or trade in combat, but it sure is expensive to cast. On an unblocked creature this makes a small amount of damage suddenly a thick chunk of damage, so that's something to think about, too. Overall I'd be hesitant about playing it, and only would if I got a bunch of hungry agro dogz.


Red-based scientists are so zany.

Dan:
Limited: 2

I personally think this is the worst of the Vessel cycle. The potential is huge, since you could drop a five drop on turn three, but later game this does next to nothing. Like all of the vessels, they're good for enabling delirium, but I think there are going to be more useful ways to do it.


Gaige:
Limited: 5

If you're doing aggro give this more like a 2 and don't play it. If you're doing UR control or red with anything control this can be pretty good. Not only is it ramp, you can use it to recover from a missed land drop early game and get a 4 drop on the field. It's not great late game but if you have an X burn spell this is just an additional 2 mana to burn something with. I'll try and convince Dan to play this card at prerelease and after game one when he only gets 2 mana he might be more inclined to add this. Then of course next game he'll get land flooded and top deck this. It's really a lose/lose whether we play it or not.


"I'm afraid it's bad news. I'ma eat you."

Gaige:
Limited: 6

Sure. Drop it turn 1, swing in for one. Then when they can't play anything you have a 2/2 turn 2 plus whatever other thing you decide to drop. There are certainly better cards but in a RG aggro wolves deck this can do a thing or two like rampage through a 0/1 window token apparently.

Dan:
Limited: 5

I closely compare this guy to Goblin Glory-Chaser from Origins. If you drop him when you're on the play, chances are your opponent isn't going to do anything turn one, and he'll flip and you'll start doing a lot of damage for a few turns until he can play two spells. Later game he's not too great, although if no one's casting spells, a 2/2 menace for one is not too bad. Overall I'd ignore his message unless you're playing him in a very fast agro deck. Especially because if you open your door for him he'll just turn into a wolf and eat you.



He tied weights to his cape for additional gainz.
Dan:
Limited: 5

This is not Goblin Heelcutter, but he is not a terrible play. Turn four is usually when speedy decks start to fizzle out, since the opponent starts to build up a good boardstate. This guy will eliminate the scariest blocker for one more giant swing, which is nice. Sadly if they have a few creatures, or if you're on the back foot, he's just a poopy 3/2 haste.


Gaige:
Limited: 5

Too bad this isn't also a wolf. Even though it's expensive this is still an alright card for an aggro deck. If you have things with menace you can make something unable to block and get lots of free damage in. Even late game this can be a game ender or switch the board state as you swing in with things. Also haste. You have a lot of potential for haste pulls to go fast and hard.


I want a human in this art for scale, cause he looks fuckin' huge.

Gaige:
Limited: 8

Needs more haste I'd say. Still real good though. Swing in, discard a card, madness trigger, shoot something with madness card, pay 1R shoot something with converted mana cost, then still hit something for 5 (I'm pretty sure trigger ordre is wrong there but you get the idea so just go with it) This is gonna be hard to get rid of and it is going to do some serious damage. I just took another gland at it and oh look it's a wolf creature type just in case you needed more reason to play this card.

Dan:
Limited: 8

He certainly kills things, so that is good. With madness this is a very good ability, and this wolf is pretty swole, and is able to kill some things on his own. Sadly he needs to attack to use his ability, and that does expose him to stranger danger from blockers.



So how about that? Red is nice, and personally, I am most excited for the Devil cards. The 1/1 pingers seem stupidly fun to me, and I look forward to trying to win a game with a bunch of dumb devils.

Be sure to tune in next time! We'll be getting a little spooky as we review black, so be sure to leave the lights on if you're a kid who's afraid of real life.



Hate that we don't tell you exactly what to play? Thought you were getting advice from pros but just left with bad jokes to say at the pre-release? Want to let Gaige know that his rating on every single card he's talked about is wrong? Let us know by droppin' a comment or sending an email with the form on the sidebar!

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