Wednesday, June 15, 2016

The Chaos List

How you'll feel when you play these cards

Hello again, everyone. Like my birth, today's article was a little bit later than everyone wanted, but it still happened. It's Wizard's Tower Wednesday! If the only word you understood in that last phrase was Wednesday, check out our intro article on what the heck this format is. Today we're going to touch on a couple cards in this sick card list given to us by reddit user u/quantumturnip. There were so many awesome cards in this list that there will probably be a multi-part series on this list. This is part one of the chaos list series. If we don't do a series on this, then this is another Wizard's Tower Wednesday using the chaos list cards as a talking point. Let's go!

I'm sure there is some sort of storm pun with Sauran but I can't think of it.
Normally I like to start off slow and save some of the silliest cards for last but what the fuck even is this? Now I realize when cards are created, they are created for limited and then fixes are put in place for other formats, but who the hell in R&D thought this was a good idea? 7 cost means nothing in the tower and this will just derail about any plans anyone had for their instant and sorcery cards. Now when you play a spell you get your shitty spell plus you get copies of any number of other spells people have played. I want to add that if you don't let this card resolve and you counter it, you are a bad person. As we speak I'm ordering a foil one from Amazon to put in my tower. You can tell it's a great card for Wizard's Tower because a foil version is only $2.99. I can't wait for this to arrive and someone to play this. Tears of both joy and sadness will be shed by all.

There was a printing error. It was originally supposed to be "Dov Escape"
This card is straight out of the 80's because it will give you a Flock of Seagulls. Yeah that was bad, but this card sure isn't. Here is another blue card (and/or white too) that won't let you cast instant and sorcery spells. That's a pretty good indicator of fun card for your tower. In case countering everything wasn't enough, infinite birds is also a pretty fun addition to your tower. You'll just be a bunch of peeps slamming down creatures and then getting birds at a 1 to 1 ratio for mana. Now all of a sudden it hits you that skipping a couple of those land drops wasn't too good as Stephen plays 13 to 16 birds a turn and you're lucky to maybe get 4. "Only 4 a turn? How many land drops did I miss?" Man I don't know, you just kept discarding cards to Zombie Infestation. For bonus points, play this with Eye of the Storm so that nobody knows what happens to instant and sorcery spells.

They call him heartless because he spoils Game of Thrones for eveyrone
It's really easy to find enchantments that are silly for your tower, but it can be hard to find creatures sometimes. This is great for multiplayer games and has the added bonus of painting a target all over your body. Someone will either murder this right away or murder you right away. This card is good enough to see play in most games but not so powerful that it's impossible to deal with. Plus if you built your tower correctly you'll have plenty of removal and a fair share of counter spells to stop this before it does too much. "My tower is only 250 charging badgers." Well you've got to start somewhere. I mean you're starting wrong but I guess you're starting. Try reading our articles one more time and then try to build your tower again.

Just gonna headbutt these tree spikes
So we are back to talking about enchantments but that list just had so many good ones it's hard not to. Maybe next week we'll have more creatures for you but right now I'm busy emptying my wallet and purchasing several copies, both foil and not, of all of these enchantments. A lot of times you'll see games where everyone kind of just lets everyone get to turn 6 or so with the occasional poke but no serious damage. It's rare that people play an aggressive Wizard's Tower because everyone wants to see what cards are to come and what silly things can happen. This forces that unwritten rule into an actual card. If you don't play something on a turn, you can't get attacked. If you manage to get a card like From Beyond or some sort of token pooper you can just sit back and not get attacked until you have a large enough army of scions to make everyone uncomfortable with how much of the table you are using. Keep in mind that you can't play lands though, so that's kind of a bummer. This card will make for fun, interesting, and definitely long games.

Pssst, you want some chickum nugger?
This card is a little different than the other ones. It is not an enchantment yes, but unlike the other ones, this is not a good fit for Wizard's Tower. Who wants to take the time to search through a 250 card deck for a creature card? Even if they find a good creature in the first 50 or so cards they'll think, "well what if I find a better one deeper in the tower?" Then they'll go through all 250 cards as everyone sits there bored and eventually quits playing because it's taking so damn long to find that one creature. Then from there they quit Magic altogether and start playing Vanguard. And nobody wants that. Even the people who started playing Vanguard don't want that. I will say that maybe if you have the same handful of people who always play the same tower with you, then this card might be okay but overall it's not something I would want to add.

That's all I've got for you today kiddos. Next week we may touch on a few more from the list, or maybe we'll do a complete 360 and go in a different direction. Who knows? We'll keep it a surprise until next week and then you can all be surprised together. Yay! Until that time just keep...reading...playing...I don't know. Keep doing something to kill time I guess.

Think I covered the wrong cards from the chaos list? Finally got your perfect tower together? Wanna share ways to kill time? Send us a message or leave a comment because we probably want to hear from you!


  1. With Eye of the Storm, you also get a copy of the spell you just cast. More bananas for everyone!

    1. Yup you're right. I'm just stupid and didn't read this card carefully. I'll have to edit that....