Uncommons. They're cheap, they're not super flashy, but sometimes, just sometimes, they're badass. Really though, Dan? Mythics are much more doper, why not just build my deck out of exclusively those cards?
|A beginners guide to Magic: The Gathering.|
Nah man. Even as recently as Khans of Tarkir we've gotten bombass uncommons.
|Taylor Swift is both a pop sensation, and Modern playable.|
But there are an uncountable number of uncommons in Standard right now. Ok that isn't true, I just sort of Googled it and there are actually 431 uncommons in Standard right now. That's a few too many to review. Most of 'em? Fuck 'em. They're no good outside of limited, and hell, half of them are no good in limited either.
|Only playable in mono-White "Support the wobbly table leg with junk cards"|
These spellz have the potential to slot into some deck, and look like they could be major players if they find a home. Right now though they're just crashing on their parent's couch in the basement though, so let's take a look at them and see if we're willing to rent them a space!
Fourth Place - Not even allowed on the podium:
|He only looks mildly inconvenienced.|
So you're up against GW tokens, and you're playing... I dunno, mono-black Eldrazi agro (I'm building this deck right now, and it's not great). They play Avacyn. Yeah, whatever, fuck you. Drop Visions of Brutality on Avacyn. Ultimate Price one of their 200 plant tokens, pass turn, and get ready to shuffle to game 2, because Avacyn is going to flip and deal 3 to you, 3 to each of your creatures, and 3 to each of their stupid plant tokens. Since you're in agro, ideally you've hit them a few times already, and now they're taking damage equal to the number of creatures on board x3. And then plus 3. That is several. The only effective way GW tokens has to deal with this is either Stasis Snare, sacrificing Avacyn to Westvale Abbey, or jamming out another Avacyn in response to the trigger.
This isn't the most reliable thing in the world, but I want to do it just once to see the look on my opponents face when his $50 bomb ass mythic rare backfires hilariously thanks to a shitty draft-chaff uncommon.
Third Place - Zappin' Drazi:
|Literally just now realized the light show is an Eldrazi.|
Main board this is terrible, because against a deck like GW tokens, you get shit on. Killing a plant isn't great, and Avacyn makes "destroy" effects risky. The current meta just doesn't have a great place for this thanks to those threats, but this is a mediocre budget option if you're playing a white deck and you'd rather like... I dunno, go out to a super nice steak dinner rather than spend $100 on Declaration in Stones.
|You can leave a Gideon, Ally of Zendikar as a tip.|
Second Place - The card only I care about:
|My terrible singing voice has the same effect.|
- Exile target creature with power or toughness 1 or less: Yeah Hangarback, get fucked. Getting rid of a thopter-spider the second they drop it is my most common use for this currently. But sometimes you just need to exile a plant or thopter to punch through the last damage, and that's reasonable as well. Against other colors it has more options, such as getting rid of a Jace, Thing in the Ice, or any of the White Weenies before getting pumped. I run 2 mainboard, just because there is typically a target for this or the second mode no matter what I'm matched up against.
- Counter target sorcery spell: Bye bye, Declaration in Stone, I'll keep my dudes, thanks. This also causes mad blowouts the first time you counter a Languish, since you can run this in colors that don't typically have counterspells. Both of those cards are hugely relevant in standard right now, and the game can totally swing in your favor if you manage to counter one at the right time.
- Put a 1/1 Eldrazi Scion token onto the to battlefield: This is sort of the fail case mode. You can drop this for a surprise blocker or an extra attacker if you don't have any targets for the other modes. Occasionally relevant is casting this turn two or three for the extra mana to get an early Thought-Knot Seer or Reality Smasher, which are both spooky threats when they come out a turn early.
Yeah, Certified Baller™. Give it a whirl, it is spectacular in Eldrazi
First Place - Chasing his dreams, and falling woefully short:
|The body says "lady", but the face says "uncomfortable man."|
Red/Blue agro isn't great right now. Honestly, Red is having a tough time with how stupidly weak burn is right now.
|This art depicts how I feel about burn in Standard.|
That's it, guys! We've covered Mythics, Rares, and Uncommons. I would talk about commons, but I think we can all agree that the like... three useful ones are already seeing play, so screw it. I hope you guys enjoyed the mini-series, and I really hope that some decks are made that render all of these lists totally invalid as they wreck face.
Also as an aside, shout to Josh for his sick 15-0 run at GP Toronto. Gaige and I play at the shop he goes to (Forbes Hobbies in Cambridge. Sickest game store I have ever been to; amazing staff, great people that play there, and overall a sweet place to play), and it was neat seeing him do so well. Grats!
Any other uncommons you're jamming that no-one else is? Still trying to live the Stormchaser U/R agro dream? Wanna go out to Texas Roadhouse with me tonight? Whatever it is you're thinking about bby, let us know!