Hilarious Eye Catching Title: Wizard's Tower Wednesday

How it feels to play Wizard's Tower

As you can tell from the title, we're off to a good start with this article. Lots of effort and creativity. And an original title to boot. Gaige here to bring you another edition of Wizard's Tower Wednesday. Check out last weeks article where I tell you that Planeswalkers are a bad idea in the tower. Not sure what Wizard's Tower is? Check out our introductory article so you can get up to speed on this sick (in a good way) casual format. It's great for killing time at your LGS or picnics in the park on a beautiful sunny day or for your weekly visit to see your cousin in prison. I also hear it's a good way to pick up women. "Hey baby, want to play with my Wizard's Tower?" Then she slaps you because she thought you meant your peen.

So normally I try to keep a theme with each Wizard's Tower article, but this week doesn't really have one. I also normally try and do two or so cards that are good and two or so cards that are bad. This week the theme is "One card from each color from fairly recent sets that fit pretty well in Wizard's Tower." As you can see it's a pretty loose theme and there's no room for bad cards. Maybe that's next week....

How can I shoot down dragons with this fake blue blob?

For as long as this card has been in standard I keep trying to force it to work. I've tried in both limited and standard. Sometimes it does stuff but most of the time it's just a 5 mana card that never really seems to fit anywhere. Like all other cards I want to be good in standard but aren't, it's perfect for Wizard's Tower. It causes things to get weird. You get control (even if only temporary) of everything that hits the battlefield from now on (or at least until the next boardwipe). I can't even begin to imagine what this is like with multiple people all playing creatures all over the place. At the start of your turn you will end up with a creature that you did not play, but who knows what that's going to be.

"Is that a sword in your hilt or are you just happy to see me" - Death, Who Flirts at Alesha

Now this card can die to just about anything and isn't as silly as some other cards we've talked about, but it might do something for you. If you've built any sort of reasonable Wizard's Tower you have some lower cost creatures with lower powers like Elvish Visionary (which is another great Wizard's Tower card but not really worth getting a whole article about). Like Alesha you can smile at Death (or your friend, Calvin, who looks like death) and bring back things in that early to mid game. Depending on what else is on board, she may go unnoticed to removal just long enough for you to bring back all the spooky things that people have been trying to get rid of.

It's the same idea as putting a cup over a spider you found in your mom's basement.

This card is functional early game, playable midgame, but "Tom Cruise on Oprah" out of control late game. With the ability to never miss a land drop and assuming you do in fact play a land every turn, in that late game you can be exiling 5 or 6 things. Like Tom Cruise, you decide who lives and who dies, who has things and who doesn't, and who makes it in to the inner circle of Lizard People. On the other hand if you did in fact build a good Wizard's Tower you have some sort of "non-land permanent" removal and when someone finally gets rid of this, 5 or 6 things all just come back to the board angry and focusing on you.

Make like a tree and grow proud and strong only to be turned into a piece of Ikea furniture.

"Hello yes am giant tree man. Am here with gift. Choose card and be happy young one." Treebeard here is showing his love for you by gifting you a card when he enters the battlefield. On top of that he's a decent sized creature so that the two of you can take down Orgrimmar together. When the Sith finally banish him to the shadow realm, you can give him a goodbye kiss and trade more of his love for another card that you may need. You can also always just let him hit the graveyard and try and get him back using some other means. Maybe you're just a dirty hippie and want to spread the tree love around to others.

I don't know about you, but I feel like manifesting 2/2's

Just like casual encounters on Craigslist, this is right on the edge of a bad idea. "Craigslist casual encounters are always a bad idea." Don't you lie to to me and act like you're better than that when we both know you've stayed up until 3 am trying to find love on there. Sometimes you'll pull this early and it will do nothing for you all game but sometimes you'll be 5 hours deep in to a game with a graveyard bigger than the deck. When you can get any double digit number of creatures onto the board even for the "high" cost of 7 you can probably win. If someone was smart they'll have a counter spell or boardwipe but even then, the best protection is only 99% effective.


Dan's shitty thoughts: 

The more mythics in your Tower, the better. Mythics (especially janky non-competitive ones) end up creating some of the craziest interactions. You get crap like The Great Aurora that reset the game and do some ridiculous things. Also, you get to look like a baller as you casually use mythics in your casual pile of cards you don't care about. Fuck it, make 'em shiny, too. You're the richest wizard up in this bitch, and you're potion mixin' er'ry day.



Been following Wizard's Tower? Finally have one you want to share? Want to talk about Tom Cruise and his downhill spiral into becoming a joke? Leave us a comment!