Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Tower Sweet Tower

"I heard you were throwing some shade"

Kaladesh has been fully spoiled for almost 2 weeks and the set is about to come out in 2 days. Some of you have gotten your hands on the cards at the pre-release and some of you don't even know how to play Magic yet. Kaladesh has lots of fun and good cards, and LOTS of bad cards that won't see play. Gaige here to give you some ideas on what Kaladesh cards fit into your Wizard's Tower. It is that day of the week and after three or so weeks without, we will touch upon Wizard's Tower Wednesday to give more ideas of Kaladesh cards can fit.

It's been quite some time since we last talked about this format, so if you need a refresher on how this works check out this intro article.

Thopters literally crapping on your dreams

First and foremost, This card is the dopest boardwipe standard has had in a long time. I'm playing a white deck for this card alone. If you aren't playing white then you should feel bad and know that you'll never gain as much life as you could. "But life gain isn't good." Yeah, well tell that to my Felidar Sovereign and Aetherflux Reservoir combo that I'm gonna win with. Exaggerating aside (although I'm not exaggerating at all about how great this is) it is a good card and will probably see play in standard but if you don't need it for anything else or you just have more than you know what to do with, it's also a great boardwipe for Wizard's Tower. Firstly, it's a boardwipe so it's already a good fit on that basis alone, and secondly, it gains you a bunch of life. With Wizard's Tower being a multiplayer format you're sure to gain enough life to either make a comeback or live long enough to get a target painted on you and still be the first one to lose the game.

There is a whole unguarded body they could have stabbed but decided to go through their hand instead

Another card that could be Standard playable but probably won't see pro play is this pseudo boardwipe. It's a multi-creature Bone Splinters. It could be good in a sacrifice matters deck, or a fabricate deck where you have servos that you don't care about. Since it probably won't see any constructed play, slap it in your Tower. If you are far behind, you can sacrifice all your stupid dumb small creatures to get rid of their Terrastadon or their Mageta the Lion, or whatever other spooky creatures they have that you can't compete with. Sadly this is sorcery speed and it's not each opponent so in multiplayer you can only kill as many of your friends creatures as you have. This should still be enough to knock the king off the hill and maybe get you or someone else back in the game. At it's worst it is a very expensive Bone Splinters which is pretty bad. At it's best it's a mediocre boardwipe which is also pretty bad.

How does a mask with more holes than material hide someones face?
Versatility is important. In second grade I had a pen that had three different color inks, a mechanical pencil, an eraser, a stylus, and a laser pointer. I thought I was the coolest kid in the school. By lunch I had some 4th graders take it and write "penis" on every part of my arm that wasn't covered by sleeve. What I'm trying to say is band-aids not only can be used to cover up cuts and scrapes but to also hide 25 instances of the word "penis" written on you. I just told my teacher that I found a cat at recess and I pretended to be a scratching post. She believed me until everyone started calling me "penis arms" for the rest of the year. This card is like those band-aids. It's super versatile and can be used for a lot of fun interaction. If you want to prevent your opponent from playing something, counter it. If you want a good effect or don't want a bad effect from a spell then use this to re-direct it. If some spell is being cast that doesn't target you at all, copy it and choose a new target for silly interaction. No matter the situation this card will help you. It will not stop people from calling you "penis arms" though.

The Kaladesh version of Battlebots

If you were happy that Collected Company is rotating out, don't get too excited yet. We now have this strictly worse, will never see any sort of real play, sharing is caring, version. In a multiplayer game this can be super fun. Pick an opponent who might be a little down on their luck to let them get first dibs on a creature and you get whatever's left. You could get two bomb creatures for 4 mana or you could get two small creature for 4 mana. Maybe you're just having a good day and want to give your friend a babby to hold so you give them one creature and take none of your own because you are a selfless wizard. Any card that shares the wealth with your friends at the table are going to be fun cards and this card seems bad, and like all bad cards is a perfect fit.

The "Grand Exhibition" is also what my high school called my spring musical wardrobe malfunction
Sometimes bad things happen to you and you just want to start fresh. Sometimes in that process you want to hurt people. Maybe someone told you that you looked like you play Magic so you burned down their house and had to move to another state. Maybe someone beat you with a Standard deck against your Legacy deck so in retaliation you threw their Exodia off of the boat you were one. This card perfectly encompasses those feelings. You get to do damage to a creature or a player directly and then you get a new hand. In Wizard's Tower you have no idea what you're going to get so you could get MUCH better cards or you could get cards so bad that you just give up playing Magic altogether. It's a toss up, but that's what makes this card so fun. 8 out of 10 dentists recommend this card in your Wizard's Tower. The other two think you don't floss enough.

Well we had some good times today. We looked at other Kaladesh cards that would be fun in a Wizard's Tower after not talking about this beautiful format for a couple weeks. Again, this is no longer a weekly article but we will still talk about things from time to time as we find sets of cards or themes to try out in your Wizard's Tower. One day I may go through and log what exactly is in mine so you can get an idea of what a fun and fairly balanced Wizard's Tower looks like. Thanks again for tuning in, I miss you already.

Missed Wizard's Tower Wednesday? Wish Wizard's Tower Wednesday would stay buried? Want to share your terrible childhood nicknames with us? Send us a message or leave a comment!


  1. I've been thinking about giving my tower a +1 counters theme. Chieftans from Tarkir, plus it's just fun shoving around tiny dice and glass beads (I'm old school). Aetherborn Marauder and some others might look fun. Also the original landfall idea was a huge miss, so it's time to regroup and think about it some more.

    1. +1 counters is my favorite part of Magic and somehow every deck I build seems to have that as the underlying theme. There is definitely a lot of silly interaction there that could make an awesome Tower.